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The one most important piece of advice I have to give is this: Do not take something negative that someone says personally- it may be true – or perhaps it is simply the individual’s distorted perception. We are each quite capable of creative interpretations – of cognitive distortions. You may be asking- what exactly is that?? Cognitive distortions are exaggerated and irrational thoughts that can hold us back from our true potential. There are many recognized cognitive distortions that are helpful to be familiar with – so you can turn yourself around and also recognize when others are on that path. This is helpful in ‘not taking things personally,’ and puts you in the position to share your recognition of that with the one experiencing it.

Here they are:

1. All or Nothing Thinking: You see things in extreme, ‘black or white’ categories. If your performance falls short of 100% you see yourself as a total failure. Any mistake or imperfection is feared as being a loser! Example: Actor who considers a performance a disaster because of one critic.

2. Overgeneralization: You see a single negative event as a never-ending pattern of defeat. Example: You go for a job interview and don’t get the offer- you fear lifelong unemployment. Pain of rejection can easily lead to over generalization.

3. Mental Filter: You pick out a single negative detail and dwell on it exclusively, thus perceiving the whole situation as negative. Example: Student dwells on questions he missed even if he got a 90!

4. Disqualifying the Positive: You reject positive experiences by insisting they ‘don’t count’ for some reason or another. In this way, you can maintain a negative belief that is contradicted by your every day experiences. Example: You get a compliment- you turn around and say the person giving it isn’t sincere.

5. Jumping to Conclusions: You make a negative interpretation even without definite facts that convincingly support your conclusion.

a. Mind Reading: You arbitrarily conclude that someone is reacting negatively to you, and you don’t bother to check this out. Example: You leave a message for someone who doesn’t return your call. You assume they don’t like you.

b. Fortune Teller: Anticipation that things will turn out badly, and feeling convinced that the prediction is an already established fact. When you do this, you plan to fail. The opposite of this is positive attitude, seeing the glass at least ‘half full’.

6. Magnification or Minimization: You exaggerate the importance of things (such as your ‘goofup’ or someone else’s achievement) or you inappropriately shrink things until they appear tiny (your own desirable qualities or another’s imperfections). This is called the ‘binocular trick’. Examplemissing a question in medical school and thinking that you shouldn’t be a doctor!

7. Emotional Reasoning: You assume that your negative emotions necessarily reflect reality: ‘I feel it, therefore it must be true.’

8. ‘Should ‘ Statement: You try to motivate yourself with should and ‘shouldn’t as if you had to be punished before you could be expected to do anything. The same with ‘must’ and ‘ought’. The emotional consequence is guilt. When you direct. ‘should’ statements towards others you feel anger, resentment, frustration. Example: I should fill out my progress sheet for class vs. I want to fill out my progress sheet for class.

9. Labeling and Mislabeling: This is an extreme form of overgeneralization. Instead of describing an error, you attach a negative label to yourself: “I’m a loser.” When someone else’s behavior rubs you the wrong way, you attach a negative label to him/her: “He’s an idiot.” Mislabeling describes an event or person in ways that are emotionally loaded.

10. Personalization: You see yourself as the cause of some external negative event for which, in fact, you were not primarily responsible.

11. What If’s: You can become extremely anxious over the possibilities of what might happen of which you can’t control. We need to work on things we can do something about and not become a prisoner of what we cannot control.

FREE 20 minutes phone consult: 516 623 4353     www.balanceandpower.com Image (155) (1)

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Saturday August 20 10-1

3 Hour Anger Management Completion Certificates accepted by the courts will be given if requested. Advance Registration only.

Location: 433 Maple Avenue, Westbury, New York 11590

Cost: $150 [Small groups, Limited seating ]

Register with Paypal  www.balanceandpower.com/events.php

Credit Cards accepted via telephone.

  • Enhance all aspects of stress and anger management
  • Communicate more effectively
  • Be happier

Explore strategies to release anger, reduce stress and deal effectively with others. Anger and communication issues are highly affected by stress levels.

The best predictor of a positive outcome is your willingness to honestly examine and admit the consequences of your problem and actions and have the intention to change patterns. Your anger and stress impacts your relationships, health, work life and financial situation.

Questions? Contact Eileen Now for a Complimentary Telephone Consult
Ph: 516 623 4353
Email: eileen@balanceandpower.com

10% discount for Veterans and their families

Register Now Paypal:  www.balanceandpower.com/events.php

or call 516 623 4353 with credit card.

**Pre registration only through noon Thursday before date of group.

August 20: Cost: $150

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How to Heal the Physical, Emotional and Spiritual Bodies Naturally

April 7 is Eileen’s class in this Port Washington Continuing Ed. Series:

When: Thursdays, 4 Nights: April 7th through May 5th, 2016
[No class on 4/28/16] 7:30 PM-9:00 PM

Where: Weber Middle School, 52 Campus Dr, Port Washington, NY 11050

Eileen Lichtenstein on April 7th:
Anger Management & Communication Styles, with Eileen Lichtenstein, MS. Ed.  Certified Anger Management Specialist, CEO, Balance & Power, Inc.

  • Enhance all aspects of stress and anger management
  • Communicate more effectively
  • Be happier
  • The best predictor of a positive outcome is your willingness and intention to change patterns.

Explore strategies to release anger, reduce stress and deal effectively with others. Anger and communication issues are highly affected by stress levels. Being happier is a wonderful by-product of communicating effectively!

Learn about distinctions among communication styles and behavior so that you can communicate more effectively at work and at home, be listened to, and respected. Learn how not to “take things personally” and reduce stress / frustration! Stress release techniques to help you cope with “difficult” people are included in this interactive workshop.

Your communication, anger and stress impacts your relationships, health, work life and financial situation. Inner strength and being centered are keys to life and business success, and Eileen Lichtenstein has specialized for over 20 years in personal development coaching and training, including stress and anger reduction/ management, relationship and leadership building, sensitivity training, communicating effectively and career issues.

This is a Port Washington Adult Ed course, Only 60 dollars for all 4 nights!

Register Now: Click on the link, then click on Adult Enrichment, then on Health and Wellness.
https://portwashington.revtrak.net

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Mindfulness is defined as paying attention and being fully in the moment.  Multi-tasking cannot be included in this definition, as most people cannot fully focus on more than one thing at a time.  The influence of technology in our fast paced world has often caused the problem of lack of focus on a particular task.  This has translated into the modern workplace, especially those who are not used to the fastest paced technology. Those used to it, mostly millennials, often inadvertently miss important details. In our modern often chaotic world, frustration levels rise quickly, giving way to stress and anger.  Impatience and frustration often go hand-in-hand.  A workplace culture of mindfulness, geared to all generations and cultures can be beneficial to all.

Another tool that is helpful in focusing as well as to reduce stress and anger is EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques), also known as tapping.  It is recognized in the field of Energy Psychology and has become globally popular.  The physical tapping on meridian points releases cortisol, a stress hormone and sends serotonin – a feel good hormone – to the section of the brain dealing with emotions, the amygdala. Most of us are not born with the recommended amount of serotonin for optimal functioning and it may be found as an ingredient in some anti-depressants.

Teaching the tenets of mindfulness  and tapping  to enhance focus and reduce stress and anger are indeed indicated in our modern day workplace.  Mindful meditation and simple relaxation techniques are helpful in creating a mindfulness practice, so practice sessions for this and EFTtapping may be implemented so that these tools will succeed in increasing focus and reducing stress and anger in the workplace.

516 623 4353  www.balanceandpower.com  FREE PHONE CONSULT

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Here’s what brain research says will make you happy:

  • “What am I grateful for?” Just asking -searching helps; you don’t need answers!
  • Label -name negative emotions. Your brain isn’t so bothered  when you name it.
  • Decide. No perfectionist thinking – good enough usually is!
  • Hugs, hugs, hugs.  Research shows getting five hugs a day for four weeks increases happiness big time.

FREE Consult: 516 623 4353               www.balanceandpower.com  

Everything is interconnected:

  • Gratitude improves sleep.
  • Sleep reduces pain.
  • Reduced pain improves your mood.
  • Improved mood reduces anxiety.
  • Reduced anxiety improves focus and planning.
  • Focus and planning help with decision making.
  • Decision making further reduces anxiety and improves enjoyment.
  • Enjoyment gives you more to be grateful for!
  • Enjoyment also makes it more likely you’ll exercise and be social, which, in turn, will make you happier.
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Ages 18-34 are often stereotyped as “coddled” and “entitled” – and are stepping up to management positions in all areas of business, healthcare and non-profit.  They join Gen X (ages 35 – 50) in replacing retiring BabyBoomers and stepping up the pace and technology.  They also have been observed to respond to texts faster than voicemail and often email and are extremely vocal about flexible work schedules.  What’s an older not yet retired Boomer to do? At the very least take a few days to learn and perfect texting skills, even if you only use it for the workplace.  Multigenerational workplace may need additional trainings to understand styles of communication, to reduce stress and anger, increase tolerance and patience.

This is all included in Balance & Power, Inc. sensitivity trainings which are customized and may include aspects of diversity training as well.  Call for a FREE Consult:  516 623 4353

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You probably know that exercise has many health benefits: It reduces risks of heart disease, cance, type 2 diabetes and improves mental health!  Studies have shown according to the American Psychological Association, that regular walking exercise such as walking can improve your mood and it doesn’t take long to to feel the effects!  Within just a few minutes of walking, many people report a more positive mood.  It has also been shown to improve mild to moderate depression and anxiety.  Regular exercise can help your body calm the “fight-or-flight” feelings that occur when someone feels anxious or overly stressed-overwhelmed.  And, it helps better sleep!!  Free Walking Boy Silhouette Stock Image - 643981

Need help “being accountable” and staying on track?

FREE Consult: 516 623 4353  www.balanceandpower.com 

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