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Posts Tagged ‘forgiveness’

It is natural to feel resentment or anger when life does not unfold as expected. Perhaps expectations are not met, or relationships fail and we grieve for the loss.  Most of the time, we work through these feelings and they pass.
Anger and resentment must fade or will be transformed into bitterness. Bitter feelings allow us to become perfect victims in that we no longer feel obliged to work toward healing and choose instead to identify with our pain. When we acknowledge that it is okay to feel bitter, we reconnect with our hurt in a constructive way and can begin the process of working through it.

Being bitter is, in essence,  cutting ourselves off from all that is positive, hardening our hearts and vowing never to let go of our hurt. When we decide that we no longer want to be bitter,  the veil it cast over our lives is lifted, letting light and warmth touch our souls.
Letting go of bitter feelings can be as simple as truly forgiving and moving on. Even when your bitterness has no concrete object, you can forgive situations.  Healing pain can be challenging but may be easier if you remind yourself that you are the only one truly affected by your emotional state.  Letting go of bitterness frees you to initiate the healing process and allows you to once again celebrate the possibility of the more wonderful life you deserve.

 Need help with “letting go”? : Free consult: 516 623 4353  www.balanceandpower.com 

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I’ll share a few important points that can be helpful in letting go of anger-

  • As the victim, it’s OK to forgive only a small percent.
  • Perhaps the other’s behavior was impacted by a chemical/emotional imbalance
  • *** The other was doing what he/she knew how to do – perhaps learned – no matter.
  • It’s possible that the action was not meant “personally” – it was simply an “M.O.”
  • It’s impossible to change another person’s way of dealing; only your own.

If you or someone you love gets help with managing anger and/or letting it go as a victim, then stress is automatically addressed and therefore health will improve too!

 Balance & Power, Inc. has been addressing stress and anger management issues for two decades, corporately and  in the educational and private sectors, and is now facilitating Workplace Bullying Prevention trainings.

Download: Workplace Bullying Prevention Programs (pdf)

Bullying in the workplace, the schools and at home has reached epidemic proportions – it is our goal to help eliminate these type of situations. I believe inner strength and being centered are keys to optimal productivity and happiness. I’m a Certified Anger Management Specialist accepted by the US courts, a former Biofeedback Practitioner and faculty member Hofstra University. My office is in Westbury, NY, the telephone, Video Skype or on your site.

I’m a certified Anger Management Specialist-1 Fellow accepted by the courts.

Call me for a complimentary consult: 516 623 4353  http://www.balanceandpower.com/anger.php 

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ebook-cover-angerForgiveness has been said to be an antidote to anger  in your life because every time you remember the injustice, and you will remember it since forgiving is NOT forgetting, you choose to release the perpetrator from the debt that she/he owes you.  You may read about the Biehl’s amazing journey here:

http://thejourneyofhope.blogspot.ca/2009/03/amy-biehl-and-improbable-tale-of.html

And…The Mayo Clinic Staff reports that researchers are claiming that, in addition to improving your spiritual health, forgiveness may have benefits for your physical health, too.  This is definitely something that warrants our attention!  It is being said that “letting go of grudges and bitterness can make way for compassion, kindness and peace, and that forgiveness can lead to:

  •  Healthier relationships
  • Greater spiritual and psychological well-being
  • Less anxiety, stress and hostility
  • Lower blood pressure
  • Fewer symptoms of depression
  • Lower risk of alcohol and substance abuse”

Well, this helps explain the statement I’ve heard and read again and again that if you experience a high level of gratitude you cannot be depressed.  This makes sense since depression is anger suppressed.  Imagine a line with frustration in the middle.  It can go either way- one end is depression(extremely suppressed anger) and the other is a high anger level – often in an inappropriate, aggressive way.

The University of Maryland School of Medicine  is researching the connection between anger and  “unforgiveness”. Anger is a component of unforgiveness and anger is a health risk.  Then is unforgiveness  a health risk  as well? Included in the research are studies with aids patients.  Knowing more about the nature and course of anger expression in the context of unforgiveness will ultimately help define and clarify this area of research.

Now I’ll share a few important points that can be helpful in letting go of anger- something I’ve learned as an Advanced EFTtapping  (Emotional Freedom Techniques) Certified Practitioner in a training I attended and has been reinforced in my trainings to facilitate Anger Management.

  • As the victim, it’s OK to forgive only a small percent.
  • Perhaps the other’s behavior was impacted by a chemical/emotional imbalance
  • *** The other was doing what he/she knew how to do – perhaps learned – no matter.
  • It’s possible that the action was not meant “personally” – it was simply an “M.O.”
  • It’s impossible to change another person’s way of dealing; only your own.

If you or someone you love gets help with managing anger and/or letting it go as a victim, then stress is automatically addressed and therefore health will improve too!

 Balance & Power, Inc. has been addressing stress and anger management issues for two decades, corporately and  in the educational and private sectors, and is now facilitating Workplace Bullying Prevention trainings.

Download: Workplace Bullying Prevention Programs (pdf)

Bullying in the workplace, the schools and at home has reached epidemic proportions – it is our goal to help eliminate these type of situations. I believe inner strength and being centered are keys to optimal productivity and happiness. I’m a Certified Anger Management Specialist accepted by the US courts, a former Biofeedback Practitioner and faculty member Hofstra University. My office is in Westbury, NY, the telephone, Video Skype or on your site.  

When you’re having difficulties with forgiveness or anger, success and career coaching, anger and stress management strategies, & EFT can turn it around!  I’m a certified Anger Management Specialist-1 Fellow accepted by the courts.

Call me for a complimentary consult: 516 623 4353   http://www.balanceandpower.com/anger.php 

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Break the chain today.
.

Forget about finding faults and forgive.

Meet anger with sympathy.
Face contempt with compassion.
Substitute cruelty with kindness.
Greet grimaces with smiles

Create new patterns.  Stop the hurt cycle.

anger management Long Island

Anger Management Specialist-1 certification to teach anger management for groups and individuals based on a psycho-educational model from NAMA: National Association of Anger Management.

Anger Management coaching and training will help you to take charge of your life! You can gain control of your anger now…office in Long Island New York, video skype and trainings on your site.

FREE PHONE CONSULT Eileen at (516) 623-4353

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Self-love is the one most important thing to create your best life.   When you’re kind, generous and  respectful  to yourself you radiate magnetic positive energy.  Whether you are seeking a wonderful partner, positive friends, solution to problem, success, more money you attract the answers when you possess self love.  Your relationships with others – even those with whom you’ve had problems in the past, improve.  If you are lack self love and you know it, here are a few tips to help:

~Create a personal mantra such as “I am lovable and deserve the best”.  You can repeat that as you walk or simply sitting quietly, breathing with it.

~Learn EFT and tap specifically on this at least 21 days (in a row) to create a new pattern habit.

~Forgive yourself for not loving- respecting yourself and then it will be easier to forgive others.

 ~I offer 15 minute complimentary telephone consult: 516 623 4353 www.balanceandpower.com 

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There are really five ways you can be happier- there is an  abundance of research on happiness and positive psychology documents this.

Happy people generally are more forgiving, helpful, and charitable, having better self-control, and are more tolerant of frustration than unhappy people.

 A 30 percent increase in one spouse’s happiness boosts the other spouse’s happiness, while a drop in one spouse’s happiness drags the other down.

 Strengths Linked to Happiness

Certain strengths are most closely linked to happiness. They include gratitude, hope, vitality, curiosity, and love. These strengths are so important that they’re worth cultivating and applying in your daily life, even if they don’t come naturally to you.  Research suggests that  these qualities can help you weather the routine ups and downs of life and also build resilience for times of greater difficulty.

 Reap the benefits of your strengths,

 First self awareness is needed to know what they are! Unfortunately, according to a British study, only about one-third of people have a useful understanding of their strengths. If something comes easily, you may take it for granted and not identify it as a strength. If you are not sure of your strengths, you can identify them by asking someone you respect who knows you well, by noticing what people compliment you on, and by thinking about what comes most easily to you.  An additional route to gratitude and boosting happiness is placing your attention on pleasure as it occurs, consciously enjoying the experience as it unfolds.  Multitasking can be the antithesis of this.

Appreciating the treasures in life, big and small, helps build happiness.

Need help figuring it out? FREE phone 15 minute consult: 516 623 4353  www.balanceandpower.com 

 

 Yeats:  “We are happy when we are growing.”

 Did you know that the brain is stimulated by surprise?

 Samuel Jackson: “The business of the wise man is to be happy”.

 Research shows that acting in an outgoing, talkative, adventurous or assertive way makes people- even introverts-feel happier.

 Making and sticking to a decision is a source of happiness because it gives you a sense of control, of efficacy, of responsibility.

 At time of financial stress, taking control of your finances- even symbolically- can boost your mood because you’re taking steps to control and improve your situation.

 Gratitude is important to happiness.  Studies show that consistently grateful people are happier and more satisfied with their lives; they even feel more physically healthy and spend more time exercising.

 Gratitude fosters forbearance- it’s harder to feel disappointed with someone when you are feeling grateful toward him or her.

 Gratitude connects you to the natural world, because one of the easiest things to feel grateful for is the beauty of nature. 

 Studies show that happier people are more likely to help other people.

Happier people are more interested in social problems.  They do more volunteer work and contribute more to charity.

 One of the best ways to make yourself happy is to make other people happy.

One of the best ways to make other people happy is to be happy yourself!

 Publius Syrus: “No man is happy who does not think himself so”

Saint Therese:  I take care to appear happy and especially to be so.”

 A small child typically laughs more than four hundred times a day, and an adult- seventeen times. 

Laughter can boost immunity and lower blood pressure and cortisol levels and increases people’s tolerance for pain. 

 Often a laughter response to someone’s  exasperation turns the situation around.  A story from Saint Therese:  p.264 The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin

 Tolstoy: ” Nothing, can make our life, or the lives of other people, more beautiful than perpetual kindness.”

I am a peak performance success coach empowering individuals and organizations SOAR! to their highest levels of happiness and success.

I’ll be happy to help you with this- call me for a FREE consult:  
            516 623 4353        

 

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Balance & Power Newsletter  
 


Hi Everyone!!
I’m excited to be presenting these 10 Tips to Public & Private Groups and Via webinar. 
 Find out more and register

1.  Listen to and follow your intuition. 
During these trying and difficult times it’s been shown that it’s often necessary to reprioritize to get best outcomes.   Your intuition is most often correct when it comes to your life, work and relationships.  So even if it’s an inkling feeling – a tiny revelation- take a moment to recognize that and then move forward.
2.  Stay within your integrity- no matter what.
No reason or person is important enough to ever stray.  If you have  tried this over the years whether intentionally or not,  then you
know it always backfires.        
3.  Love and laugh!
Both are proven stress reducers.  Happiness is contagious – many need more of that now while surrounded by global negativity and immersed in “the new normal.”
4.  Forgive yourself  for mistakes, let go and move on. 
Self-forgiveness is essential in order to forgive anyone else.  Forgiveness is essential to let go of anger.  Letting go of anger is essential to be happier.  
5.  Take time each day  to relax, to dream.
We need our “down” time more than ever now, living in these difficult times.  Honor your method of relaxation and allow dreams to surface.  Be open to learning additional relaxation techniques and give them a try.. whatever works for you whenever you do it is OK as long as it has no negative effects on health or  overlap with personal or work responsibilities.  If things are unmanageable – get help.
6.  Be a great listener.
Listening is the most important part of communication.  If you do not understand what is being said, ask. Listen well and your response will  be more on target.
7.  Stay healthy by practicing extreme self-care. (diet, sleep, exercise, relaxation techniques).
Stress takes its toll on health and may exacerbate conditions already in existence.  8.  Stop procrastinating and take action- to move forward or to drop the project.
9. Begin each day with a short meditation positive visualizations of successful outcomes of your goals.
10.  Believe in yourself and your goals; create affirmations and post them onto mirrors, in an accessible notebook and in the car

Get Your Gratitude On & Infuse Your Life With Happiness:  Listen to the recording of my interview on this topic by visiting:  www.clarapenner.ca 

 


  Infuse your life with happiness one smile at a time! 

Its OK to Be You~Motivational WhisperersOnDemandEpisodes


Listen to Eileen speak about Anger Management, its impact for “Recovery” and importance for well being and relationships- on the Radio (scroll down)
 

Keep Soaring!
 

Eileen Lichtenstein,
CEO Balance & Power, Inc.

Eileen Lichtenstein, MS. Ed. Peak PerformanceSuccess Coach / Trainer and Professional Speaker, Stress Management, Anger Management, EFT, “SOAR! with Reslience Programs & Manual ♦ Wantagh, NY, USA 
                         516-623-4353

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