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This article is adapted from the Nikkei Asian Review and found in NAMA (National Anger Management Association, my certifying organization) Newsletter JUNE 2018 

You may contact me for a complimentary consult: 516 623 4353  www.balanceandpower.com 

Japan programs

TOKYO — Aware that they may become irritated too often amid the demanding duties of work, household chores and child care, a growing number of Japanese women are seeking ways to relax and be more kind by participating in seminars focusing on a serene mind.

At an introductory anger management seminar on a January weekend in Tokyo, participants were reminded that a fit of anger actually does not last very long, and that knowing this goes a long way in suppressing vitriol.

“The peak of anger lasts six seconds at most. So you want to deal [with your anger] after you know you’re past that peak,” Kyoko Mabashi told the participants.

The anger management movement, which started in the U.S. in the 1970s, aims to teach people how to manage anger in a positive way when necessary while suppressing the emotion when there is no need to fume.

The movement has grown quickly in Japan in the past few years. According to the Japan Anger Management Association (Japan Chapter of NAMA), participants in its seminars has totaled over 180,000.

“Biologically speaking, men are more prone to anger, and that’s why anger management seminars are basically for men in the U.S.,” said Shunsuke Ando, head of the association. “But in Japan, many participants are women in their 30s and 40s.” Currently, about 60% of the participants are women, he added.

According to a survey by the Institute of Statistical Mathematics in Tokyo, about 70% of female respondents in their 20s to 40s said they had felt irritated in the past month, far exceeding the ratio for men.

“The Japanese share a very similar set of values, which can be both good and bad. But our values are fast diversifying, including on attitudes toward work,” Ando said. “This has made it more likely for different values to clash, which can lead to anger.”

Thinking about what you are thinking about

Mindfulness seminars are also becoming popular.

“I know I want to be kind to people every day, but I find it hard to do so,” said a 52-year-old female Tokyo resident participating in a mindfulness seminar in the metropolis in late January. “I think my body has become stronger through training, but I think my mind still remains weak.”

Mindfulness uses meditation to help one cultivate the discipline to stop and look at oneself and what is happening around them. At the seminar, Ikuko Yamaguchi, a member of the Japanese Association of Mindfulness, which organized the event, instructed the participants, “Distracting thoughts may pop into your head, but just watch yourself having such thoughts.”

It was 8 p.m., and the room was so quiet that participants’ breathing was audible.

The ratio of men and women taking part in the association’s seminars is about equally split, Yamaguchi said.

“In terms of female participants, we’re seeing a growing number of individuals in their 30s and 40s who have limited time for themselves due to the daily grind of work and child care,” she added.

Mindfulness has recently been in the spotlight after Google introduced an internal training program on it. In Japan, it has grown in popularity quickly as it found its way into corporate training programs and yoga studios.

This article is adapted from the Nikkei Asian Review 

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Confidence helps us to interact more decisively, in healthier ways in our relationships and helps keep us from overreacting.  Take time to affirm your value and worth as a person to help you feel stronger and better about yourself. Since others only treat you the way you allow them to, developing a stronger sense of self-esteem and confidence could positively affect the quality of your relationships. If you can understand that feelings of security originate within you, you can focus on strengthening your center and affirming that you are whole and complete–regardless of what happens outside of you.
Below are links on the subject from my previous blog posts.

Call me for a free consult: 516 623 4353  www.balanceandpower.com 

How do you feel when an understanding friend quietly listens to you with love and sincere interest? This may be the polarity of how it felt when you were really upset about something, began to share, and the “listener” shut you off or interrupted to give you suggestions.  A person who listens with loving interest […]

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Active listening is a gift of time and love. Active listening is actually reflecting back the content or emotions of what is being said., and truly listening with interested silence when not doing that.

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Emphasizing the positive traits in ourselves and others encourages the continuing development of our skills, abilities, and attributes and a successful relationship! Positive reinforcement is usually much more effective and inspiring than trying to force improvements by dwelling on the negative, which do not work anyway. By consciously emphasizing the positive traits and abilities that […]

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“Hope Springs” is an important relationship movie, not a “chick flick”.  That’s this gal’s opinion…  The actors take their time through the first half and we get it- the marriage isn’t working and hasn’t worked in many years.  Meryl Streep’s  role is very different from any   I’ve seen her in  previously and she does this […]

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I’m talking to parents, older siblings, grandparents, teachers, business managers/ceo’s and politicians.  court mandated parenting classes long island NY

We are each leaders, even if (now) your domain is simply your home.  Do you curse? Smile enough?  Speak and act assertively? Listen actively? Demonstrate good time skills? Step away from devices on a regular basis? Mindful and considerate of others in household, office, neighbors?

My clients often see me for help with #angermanagementstrategies and/or #parenting skills.  How you cope with #stress, #frustration and #anger impacts directly on #communication, #relationships and your #patience quota.

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anger management Long Island

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Yes, when you feel bullied or “unfairly” attacked emotionally – verbally it is usually difficult to respond without anger or to walk away and release. Reacting with anger adds fuel to the fire and it’s best to leave and release – even if it’s temporary it interrupts the stress-adrenaline -cortisol cycle and hopefully can allow you to act responsibly and let go instead of actions that you may very well regret.  It can be helpful to realize the other’s thoughts-words-actions may have nothing to do with you! even though it seems that way.

When you leave the scent taking a few deep breaths, doing tapping EFT, taking a walk are all activities that help to feel better and regain personal energy balance.

I’ve helped many clients with this challenge in my Westbury, NY office and Skype as well as larger groups onsite and webinars.

Call me for a FREE consult: 516 623 4353  www.balanceandpower.com 

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