Posts Tagged ‘active listening’

Wherever you may work , there are coworkers with different work and communication styles.  Sometimes you may be faced with a heated argument. If an agreement cannot be reached it’s best to agree to disagree and if that’s not an option you may consider having a third neutral party (HR, mediator or coworker) to hear both sides and facilitate an agreement or at least peace.  SHRM (Society for Human Resource Management) suggests we learn how to calm an upset coworker with these tips:

  1. Remain calm
  2. Try to understand what the other person is saying by being an “active listener”.  Ask them to explain further if need be.
  3. Discuss solutions to the problems
  4. Use “I” statements (assertive vs. blaming) such as ” I feel disappointed this project isn’t going well.” Rather than, “You aren’t doing a good job on this project.”  Focus on the problems or behaviors, not the people.
  5. Be certain that everyone agrees on the solution.

Resolving conflict in the work[lace – and at home and school -is a valuable skill you can use throughout your life.  Staying calm in a tense situation helps you to to find a productive, positive solution.

I help individuals and groups learn how to do this in my Westbury, Long Island office, Skype and onsite.  There’s enough chaos in the world – if we each can cope more effectively with what’s in our immediate environment then there will be more smiles on the faces!

Call me for a FREE phone consult: 516 623 4353  www.balanceandpower.com 

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How do you feel when an understanding friend quietly listens to you with love and sincere interest? This may be the polarity of how it felt sometime when you were really upset about something, began to share, and the “listener” shut you off or interrupted to give you suggestions.  A person who listens with loving interest and respect helps us process our emotions.  When another accepts our emotions (without judgment) it has the effect of giving us permission to accept our own emotions and feeling empowered to process and resolve the issue.

Active listening is a gift of time and love.  Active listening is actually reflecting back the content or emotions of what is being said., and truly listening with interested silence when not doing that.

This applies to children and teens too!  A child who is really upset about something will usually begin to calm down after a few active listening responses.  Teens frequently move rapidly from anger to talking about feelings and usually begins to calm down with a one to four active listening responses!

Active Listening is a skill that takes practice and is worthwhile practicing!

Call for a FREE phone consult: 516 623 4353    www.balanceandpower.com 

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There is no reason to let a difficult person or situation have power over your state of being. Sometimes we encounter those individuals who, for whatever reason, can be difficult to deal with.  The behavior/words of difficult people can even make you feel like losing your temper.  Keeping your cool and staying calm is important, especially if/when you are ready to confront them.

Avoiding a difficult person is not always in your best interest, especially if you live or work together, this can become a source of stress and anxiety. In these situations, it is best to kindly address the problem while not letting their actions or mood affect you. You may want to think about what you want to say to a difficult person before you actually talk to them to express your feelings directly, ie: tell the person how their actions/words make you feel (without taking on the role of a victim) and when possible encourage them toward a more positive course of action. Another approach for dealing with a difficult individual is to gain a deeper understanding of who that person is by asking them why they do or say certain things, and perhaps guide them to a shift in perspective.

Often a lot can be accomplished when you take the time to listen actively and perhaps offer up alternative perspectives.  Try to approach the conversation objectively without being judgmental or defensive. If the person is open to the idea, try coming to an agreement. If approaching them fails, let it go and move on. When this is impossible to do it’s important to find help and get support.

Relationship coaching is intended to help people in any relationship such as married couples, unmarried couples, family members or co-workers. A relationship is always, like our lives, in a state of movement and change. A relationship coach helps you maximize that change in a positive way, places you more in control of it and of how you feel. Looking at events and what a person says in a different way, creating a new perspective or re-framing can help you reconnect with the positive aspects in a relationship and empower you to let go of the old patterns and perhaps, the relationship.

Download The 10 Tips to Building a Strong Relationship (pdf)

Contact me today for a Free 1:1 Consultation and for interactive workshops-trainings www.balanceandpower.com  516 623 4353

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