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We all have a dark side – or the voice in your head  – or the egoic mind.   We tend to take this voice seriously–we believe it, agree with it, and don’t question it. We believe it because we are programmed to believe our own thoughts, regardless of whether they are true and helpful or not. We tend to take this voice seriously–we believe it, agree with it, and don’t question it.  This mental voice is often unkind, belittling, fearful, self-doubting, judgmental, complaining, confused, and unhelpful. It turns out that the voice in our head is not a very good guide to life, and yet we tend to accept what it says and do what it suggests

Much of the time, this voice seems like our own thoughts and voice and sometimes like a parent, other authority figure or friend. We identify with them–we feel they reflect who we are. We don’t tend to question our own thoughts, although we readily question other people’s thoughts, especially if those thoughts are different from ours. But when we stop and examine what this mental voice is saying, we discover a lot of contradictory advice, misinformation, prejudices, judgments, and other negativity. This mental voice is often unkind, belittling, fearful, self-doubting, judgmental, complaining, confused, and unhelpful.
Lifetime programming to pay attention to and believe this aspect of the mind is usually very strong, and it takes not only seeing the truth about it, but also a practice, as in meditation, of not giving our attention to this mental voice before we gain enough distance from it to experience freedom and the joy and peace of our true self and also of EFTtapping  to release negativity and stress and motivation to take positive action.

I am facilitating a 3 week series in June Weds. Eves 7-8 PM that will address these issues as well as reverse ng procrastination (always fear based.)  See details and register: www.balanceandpower.com/events.php

FREE Consult: 516 623 4353

Yes, research shows it’s possible! with actively choosing new ways to think, new ways to behave, and new environments that best suit your emotional style.   We can change how the brain responds to emotional stimuli with researched strategies that include:

    • Find out what your “hot buttons” are – what triggers your negative emotions.
    • Observe your emotions in the moment, without labeling good or bad.
    • Investigate emotions by asking yourself questions like, “Why do I feel this way?” or “What are my emotions trying to tell me?” Sometimes there is a logic and pattern of our emotions than we can learn from and improve.
    • Practice responding to emotions in new and constructive ways (for example, dancing, writing, or painting).

I work successfully with clients and groups to do this with Peak Performance Success and Life Coaching that may include stress and anger management, guided meditation and the modality EFT – Emotional Freedom Techniques, tapping – that speed up this process!

Need help and guidance? FREE PHONE CONSULT: 516 623 4353  www.balanceandpower.com 

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Affirmations to Release Shame – Fear – Negativity – Stress – Anger and to EMPOWER

I see life as a process ever unfolding
I release my fear and resistance to change as appropriate
I release and forgive everyone who didn’t support my changes
I release and heal all the changes that caused me pain
I forgive myself for making changes that didn’t work
I forgive myself for not making changes that would have worked
I dissolve all past agreements that no longer serve me
I create new agreements that serve my new directions
I release all distress and worry
I release all negative thoughts and feelings
I release all fear and anxiety
I release all stress and tension
I am flexible and easygoing
I am in a state of ease and flow
I am relaxed and calm
I am serene and peaceful

I control my responses to stressful situations

I dissolve negative responses to stressful situations
I respond to stressful situations in healthy and healing ways
I replace stress with calming thoughts
I replace stress with peaceful feelings
I replace stress with healthy habits
I am at peace whether or not I am in control
I am tranquil whether or not I know the future
I am calm whether or not things are going my way
I face every situation clear, free and unafraid
I am now willing to move beyond my past
I release and forgive who I have been in the past
I release and forgive each person for who they have been in my past
I grieve for my past as appropriate
I am safe and protected when I acknowledge all things in my life
I process my anger in healthy and healing ways
I release my depression quickly in grace
I move to acceptance in powerful new ways
I release my past and live in my present
I release and forgive everyone who created chaos in my life
I forgive myself for creating chaos
I have faith in my future and  myself
I move boldly forward with complete trust and faith
I dissolve all blocks to communicating clearly
I speak up for myself at the right times about the right things
I release and forgive everyone who put me down when I spoke up
I increase in assertiveness daily
I say what I mean and I mean what I say

I dissolve my aggressive characteristics as appropriate
I increase in effective listening daily
I am open and honest about my feelings and express them well
I recognize and acknowledge when I am feeling anger
I dissolve all confusion around what I want and need
I am honest about what I want and need and I ask for it simply and clearly
I forgive everyone  (to some extent if not completely) who didn’t meet my needs
I take responsibility for my own needs
I make meaningful agreements and I keep them
I set appropriate limits and boundaries and I keep them
I put my needs first as appropriate
I ask for what I want and need simply and clearly
I balance my needs with the needs of others in perfect ways
I make meaningful agreements and I keep them
I accept myself completely without qualifiers
I have a solid sense of self-identity
I find deep inner peace with myself as I am
All my false images of myself from the past are dissolved
I love and accept all parts of myself
I love and accept all of my thoughts and feelings
I have positive self-esteem apart from others thoughts and criticisms
I love and approve myself without pleasing others
I accept, honor and value myself completely as I am, though I recognize areas for improvement.

I maintain my self-confidence in all times and places

I forgive myself for any and all past mistakes
I dissolve all fear around making mistakes
My self-confidence is in who I am not what I do
I move forward, feeling self-confidence every step of the way
I open my heart to allow love in at all times
I reclaim my childlike ability to love without fear
I dissolve all guard and shields I have around my heart
I surround myself with people with open, loving hearts
I accept myself completely as an imperfect person
I recognize criticism for what it is and I acknowledge it
Being criticized and feeling attacked and inadequate are separate for me now
I am assertive and clear when I handle criticism
I remain calm, centered and balanced while I handle criticism

FREE PHONE CONSULT: www.balanceandpower.com  

516 623 4353

Productive, successful and happy people constantly set goals and work to make them happen. This gives us focus and ensures that we use our time and energy efficiently and effectively. It also provides us with a sense of purpose and direction. We know where we are going and what we want to do. Quite often, however, due to forces outside our control, things do not go as we had planned.  Life and career often calls us to be flexible – even at short notice, to reconsider our plans and priorities, sometimes in the blink of an eye.
The ability to accept what is happening and let go of original expectations is key when dealing with these unexpected turns of fate. We often have the tendency to get stuck in our heads, clinging to an idea of how we think things or relationships should go, and we can have a hard time accepting anything that doesn’t comply with that idea. The fact is that life and business is often unpredictable.Below you’ll find 8 things to do when life  – or business – throws you a curveball:

1.Don’t Overgeneralize. Just because something unexpected has temporarily knocked the wind out of you it doesn’t mean that you’ll never achieve the things that you want, or that you’re doomed to fail and struggle for the rest of your days.

2. Find Perspective. You can’t see the future. Would your life have been perfect or even better if you had gotten the contract?  Not lost the partner?  Maybe; but maybe not. What looks like a huge loss at the present could be a blessing in disguise. You don’t know yet.

3. Practice Acceptance. In his book “The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success”  Deepak Chopra explains “The Law of Least Effort”, which is basically the principle of no resistance. One component of this principle is acceptance. You can wish for things to be different in the future, but at this moment in time you have to accept things as they are.

4. Decrease Your Ego’s Involvement.  Even if you feel that you’ve been wronged, you need to stop thinking along the following lines:

§  How dare they do this to me?

§  Don’t they know who I am?

§  They’ll be sorry they did this.

This kind of thinking consumes an enormous amount of energy and doesn’t help you in any way. In “The Art of Dreaming” Don Juan tells Carlos Castaneda the following:

“Most of our energy goes into upholding our importance . . . If we were capable of losing some of that importance, two extraordinary things would happen to us. One, we would free our energy from trying to maintain the illusory idea of our grandeur; and two, we would provide ourselves with enough energy to . . . catch a glimpse of the actual grandeur of the universe.”

By refusing to identify with your ego and things personally, you will be able to stop linking your sense of self to what happened.  Don Miguel Ruiz, author of “The Four Agreements” is also a firm believer in  “Don’t Take Anything Personally” – The Second Agreement.  This will free up energy that you can then use to create better circumstances for yourself.

5. Meditate. When you’re stressed, fearful, angry, or anxious—which are feelings that often accompany an event that has a negative impact on your life–, your brain’s rhythm increases and brain activity rises. The more stressed you become, the more rapidly your brain waves vibrate. Meditating slows down your brain’s rhythm, which is conducive to a relaxed state of mind which allows you to generate alternatives, see opportunities, and come up with creative solutions. That is, meditating will help put you in a more resourceful state of mind.

6. Shift Your Focus To the Positive. Instead of dwelling on your loss, shift your focus to the good things that are still in your life.  If you have your health and a good head on your shoulders you have a lot to be grateful for. Focus on that.

7. Focus on the Future. The curveball you were thrown probably set your goals off track.  It makes sense to set new career goals for yourself and start moving toward the new destination that you’ve set for yourself.

8. Focus on What You Can Control. One of the reasons why being thrown a curveball is so incredibly painful is because it makes you feel like you have no control over what happens to you. After all, you did everything right. But the “right” results didn’t materialize, in spite of your efforts and there’s little that you can do about it. Therefore, turn your focus to things you can control and possibly new skills or contacts that will help in reaching your new goals. Whenever you feel helpless or victimized because of something that has happened to you, turn your attention to the things that you can change, or the things that you can do. By doing what you can, with what you have, where you are, you’ll gradually begin to feel like you’re back in control of your life.

Being open with goals and yet unattached to outcome can be difficult to achieve.  I have found this to take much practice –and have always been better at it- and anything, while being centered and grounded.  Next time a curveball comes my way, I will take a deep breath and open my mind to a new opportunity! My hope dear reader, is that you will as well!  I help many to get past curved balls and move on.

FREE PHONE CONSULT   516 623 4353        www.balanceandpower.com ebook-cover-stress-web: 516

We all were braced for a few days in – and yay! enough to close everything for one day – and gave most of us I hope – time to catch up!-

I prepared materials for my Anger Management Group (2 seats available if you want to register now), was on a great networking call with Adrian’s Network and more…

What did you do?

Stay safe and warm all my NE US friends :)-

FREE phone consult 516 623 4353  www.balanceandpower.com 

ODNLI March Panel: Increasing Productivity By Managing Stress.

When: Tuesday March 14, 2017 from 5:30 PM to 8:00 PM

Where: Clearvision Optical, 425 Rabro Drive East, Suite 2, Hauppauge, NY 11788

Cost: Free Registration as Eileen’s guest. Register as ODNLIGUEST and register for free.

The Organizational Development Network of LI presents a new program Increasing Productivity By Managing Stress

Eileen will be a panelist on Increasing Productivity By Managing Stress
Other panelists include Bill Solz an LCSW, Marc Miller and Dan Schaefer both Ph. D’s.

*Free Registration as Eileen’s guest. Register as ODNLIGUEST and register for free.

Registration and More Info

  How to Create Optimal Happiness & Productivity Embark on a transformative journey of self-development that will guide you to amazing levels of happiness and abundance in your life. You will learn about components of happiness and productivity and how to apply it to your own circumstances. More Information

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