|Productive, successful and happy people constantly set goals and work to make them happen. This gives us focus and ensures that we use our time and energy efficiently and effectively. It also provides us with a sense of purpose and direction. We know where we are going and what we want to do. Quite often, however, due to forces outside our control, things do not go as we had planned. Life and career often calls us to be flexible – even at short notice, to reconsider our plans and priorities, sometimes in the blink of an eye.
The ability to accept what is happening and let go of original expectations is key when dealing with these unexpected turns of fate. We often have the tendency to get stuck in our heads, clinging to an idea of how we think things or relationships should go, and we can have a hard time accepting anything that doesn’t comply with that idea. The fact is that life and business is often unpredictable.Below you’ll find 8 things to do when life – or business – throws you a curveball:
1.Don’t Overgeneralize. Just because something unexpected has temporarily knocked the wind out of you it doesn’t mean that you’ll never achieve the things that you want, or that you’re doomed to fail and struggle for the rest of your days.
2. Find Perspective. You can’t see the future. Would your life have been perfect or even better if you had gotten the contract? Not lost the partner? Maybe; but maybe not. What looks like a huge loss at the present could be a blessing in disguise. You don’t know yet.
3. Practice Acceptance. In his book “The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success” Deepak Chopra explains “The Law of Least Effort”, which is basically the principle of no resistance. One component of this principle is acceptance. You can wish for things to be different in the future, but at this moment in time you have to accept things as they are.
4. Decrease Your Ego’s Involvement. Even if you feel that you’ve been wronged, you need to stop thinking along the following lines:
§ How dare they do this to me?
§ Don’t they know who I am?
§ They’ll be sorry they did this.
This kind of thinking consumes an enormous amount of energy and doesn’t help you in any way. In “The Art of Dreaming” Don Juan tells Carlos Castaneda the following:
“Most of our energy goes into upholding our importance . . . If we were capable of losing some of that importance, two extraordinary things would happen to us. One, we would free our energy from trying to maintain the illusory idea of our grandeur; and two, we would provide ourselves with enough energy to . . . catch a glimpse of the actual grandeur of the universe.”
By refusing to identify with your ego and things personally, you will be able to stop linking your sense of self to what happened. Don Miguel Ruiz, author of “The Four Agreements” is also a firm believer in “Don’t Take Anything Personally” – The Second Agreement. This will free up energy that you can then use to create better circumstances for yourself.
5. Meditate. When you’re stressed, fearful, angry, or anxious—which are feelings that often accompany an event that has a negative impact on your life–, your brain’s rhythm increases and brain activity rises. The more stressed you become, the more rapidly your brain waves vibrate. Meditating slows down your brain’s rhythm, which is conducive to a relaxed state of mind which allows you to generate alternatives, see opportunities, and come up with creative solutions. That is, meditating will help put you in a more resourceful state of mind.
6. Shift Your Focus To the Positive. Instead of dwelling on your loss, shift your focus to the good things that are still in your life. If you have your health and a good head on your shoulders you have a lot to be grateful for. Focus on that.
7. Focus on the Future. The curveball you were thrown probably set your goals off track. It makes sense to set new career goals for yourself and start moving toward the new destination that you’ve set for yourself.
8. Focus on What You Can Control. One of the reasons why being thrown a curveball is so incredibly painful is because it makes you feel like you have no control over what happens to you. After all, you did everything right. But the “right” results didn’t materialize, in spite of your efforts and there’s little that you can do about it. Therefore, turn your focus to things you can control and possibly new skills or contacts that will help in reaching your new goals. Whenever you feel helpless or victimized because of something that has happened to you, turn your attention to the things that you can change, or the things that you can do. By doing what you can, with what you have, where you are, you’ll gradually begin to feel like you’re back in control of your life.
Being open with goals and yet unattached to outcome can be difficult to achieve. I have found this to take much practice –and have always been better at it- and anything, while being centered and grounded. Next time a curveball comes my way, I will take a deep breath and open my mind to a new opportunity! My hope dear reader, is that you will as well! I help many to get past curved balls and move on.
FREE PHONE CONSULT 516 623 4353 www.balanceandpower.com : 516
Archive for the ‘self development’ Category
Posted in mental health, mindfulness, personal development, positive energy, recreation, resilience, self development, Self Help, stress, stress management, travel, traveling, Uncategorized, vacation tips, tagged personal development, time out, vacation on January 31, 2017| Leave a Comment »
The dictionary does not tell us how to accelerate the resilience process, it only defines it:
1. “springing back into shape, position, etc. after being stretched, bent or compressed.”
2. “recovering strength, spirits, etc. quickly.”
Being resilient in body, mind and spirit is key to being happy and successful in all areas of life. Emotionally, it’s the opposite of being “stuck in a rut” and it’s about being positive. Physically, it can translate to strength and flexibility. Spiritually it can indicate faith with the ability to maintain hope in tumultuous times. It’s about staying centered and grounded and making “right” choices.
So, you may be asking yourself, how does one maintain emotional-spiritual equilibrium and resiliency when things can be unpredictable and often in crisis mode? How can we accelerate the resilience process? It’s not easy, and takes some work. It’s easy to create positive patterns and habits when life is going smoothly. It can be quite challenging while being swept away by negative forces. A good mentor/coach and practice is important, and the practice will create a “spill-over” effect into life situations.
Many people, including myself, have learned how to be more resilient. There are skill sets of meditation, relaxation breathing, visualization and “tapping” (EFT- Emotional Freedom Techniques) that all add into helping an individual maintain focus and be positive. Exercising, eating healthfully and being in healthy relationships are naturally fortifying. Most people are not born resilient, but do have the capacity to learn how to be this way. Here are a few tips to accelerate the process:
• Think of possibilities from different perspectives.
• Stop talking in absolutes. Eliminate the words nothing and never from self talk.
• Set specific goals that are attainable.
• When you are feeling down due to personal circumstances, take stock of your strengths.
• Lower the stakes, not the standards: Don’t have your whole life riding on the outcome of one event
• Savor small triumphs, steps leading to the bigger picture.
• Set aside self blame and learn from your mistakes.
• Surround yourself with positive people
• Do not read, watch or listen to the news if you become “too upset”.
• Take a few minutes each day to reflect on your feelings.
• Cultivate generosity and gratitude.
You are the only one who can control your attitude. By focusing on what is strong and enduring and seeing your potential, you can take calculated risks and overcome challenges. It takes an open, creative mind free from anxiety to pick up on opportunities. They are out there ready to be accessed by your positive and resilient radar!
Author of “SOAR! with Resilience”, Eileen Lichtenstein, MS.ED.,EFT-ADV is President of www.balanceandpower.com. She offers complimentary coaching consultations via telephone and Skype and empowers individuals and groups to facilitate optimal levels of productivity and happiness. Contact Eileen: firstname.lastname@example.org 516 623 4353
Saturday, January 7th, 2:00pm – 3:00 pm
Where: 103.9 FM
Scott Passeser is one of Long Island’s most respected business leaders and currently hosts Radio Jobline. Scott has been leading discussions and helping Long Islanders find jobs and achieve success in their careers.
Join him as he interviews Eileen speaking about “Keeping Your New Year’s Resolution – Tips Regarding Spending more Time with Family and Friends” for Radio Jobline on 103.9 FM.
Find out more: www.linewsradio.com/radiojobline
Posted in grounding, happy, health, productivity, relaxation, resilience, self development, Self Help, self- care, seminar, stress management, stress reduction, stress resilience, success, workshops and trainings on June 3, 2016| Leave a Comment »
Posted in anger management, anger management and conflict resolution training, attitude, communication, personal development, relationship coaching, relationships, self development, Self Help, Uncategorized, tagged anger, anger management, effective communication, long island, personal development, relationship building, self-help, workshops on April 17, 2016| Leave a Comment »
Anger Management Group 3 Hrs
(*Accepted by Courts)
Saturday, May 14 Time: 10am – 1pm
Saturday, June 11 Time: 10am – 1pm
Saturday, July16 Time: 10am – 1pm
3 Hour Anger Management Completion Certificates accepted by the courts will be given if requested. *Pre registration only through noon Thursday before date of group.
Location: 433 Maple Avenue, Westbury, New York 11590
Cost: $150 each [Small groups, Limited seating ]
Register with Paypal Credit Cards accepted via telephone.
- Enhance all aspects of stress and anger management
- Communicate more effectively
- Be happier
Explore strategies to release anger, reduce stress and deal effectively with others. Anger and communication issues are highly affected by stress levels.
The best predictor of a positive outcome is your willingness to honestly examine and admit the consequences of your problem and actions and have the intention to change patterns. Your anger and stress impacts your relationships, health, work life and financial situation.
Questions? Contact Eileen Now for a Complimentary Telephone Consult
516 623 4353 email@example.com
10% discount for Veterans and their families
Register Now: *Credit Cards accepted via telephone. (516) 623-4
**Pre registration only through noon Thursday before date of group.
1. Choose a belief to release and write it. You may want to consider: What was its old purpose? Who in your life used to say it, or imply it? What made their statements true for you at that time? How has that “truth” affected your life? Just be sure to stay present, looking at your old belief with compassion for yourself.
2. Challenge your belief! Write down, and take time to acknowledge, all the life experiences that you have had that actually PROVE your old belief is not true. This may be in the form of compliments that you have received, promotions at work, loving relationships, etc.
3. Identify your desired outcome. Write down all your desired outcomes relating to replacing the old belief. Choose one outcome that most powerfully represents who you would be if you had that outcome.
4. Ask yourself: “What am I willing to do to make these changes?” You can always get ideas and reinforcement from professional guidance and support in one-on-one sessions or group programs. You really don’t have to go it alone in your life, and the belief that “you should” is in itself a disempowering belief!
5. Learn EFT and “tap on it”.
Love, respect yourself and believe you deserve…and the challenges will actually help you learn and grow, not wear you down. Remember, you are lovable, capable and worthwhile. You are enough!
FREE 20 minute phone consult: 516 623 4353 firstname.lastname@example.org