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Archive for the ‘relationship coaching’ Category

Three personal characteristics to be especially aware of in our fast paced times, especially this Holiday week.  I hope yours are wonderful and a Happy-Productive 2018!!

Related posts:

https://balanceandpowerblog.com/2017/12/03/eft-for-holiday-stress-release-relief/

https://balanceandpowerblog.com/2017/12/23/frustration-tipping-point/

https://balanceandpowerblog.com/2017/07/01/be-assertive-say-no-effectively/

http://www.dailyom.com/cgi-bin/courses/courseoverview.cgi?cid=159

“SOAR! with Resilience®
The Interactive Book for
SOAR! with ResilienceOvercoming Obstacles & Achieving Success”

By Eileen Lichtenstein

ORDER NOW
Available as eBook or Hard Copy

FREE CONSULT: 516 623 4353  one to one, group sessions in Uniondale, NY.,Skype  and on your site.                                           www.balanceandpower.com 
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How do you feel when an understanding friend quietly listens to you with love and sincere interest? This may be the polarity of how it felt when you were really upset about something, began to share, and the “listener” shut you off or interrupted to give you suggestions.  A person who listens with loving interest and respect helps us process our emotions.  When another accepts our emotions (without judgment) it has the effect of giving us permission to accept our own emotions and feeling empowered to process and resolve the issue.

Active listening is a gift of time and love.  Active listening is actually reflecting back the content or emotions of what is being said., and truly listening with interested silence when not doing that.  This applies to children and teens too!  Read more here   https://wordpress.com/post/balanceandpowerblog.com/3541

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The ability to communicate ‘no’ really reflects that you are in the driver’s seat of your own life, and can give gives you a sense of empowerment.  How to do it most effectively?

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Read more here  https://balanceandpowerblog.com/2017/07/01/be-assertive-say-no-effectively/

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Your employees, managers and admin staff need to communicate effectively to avoid conflict and for optimal productivity.  Perhaps your organization can benefit with having a Sensitivity Training, Communicating Effectively in the Workplace, or Anger Management and Bullying Prevention in the Workplace.  Each training is customized and may be presented on your site or conference rooms in my Uniondale office.  Call for a  consult! http://www.balanceandpower.com  516 623 4353

https://balanceandpowerblog.com/2017/12/02/communicating-effectively-in-the-workplace/

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Be an active listener – while being patient (waiting with a positive attitude) and when what is said by the other has offended you, if you feel is an untruth and/or feel bullied, do not react. If possible, respond calmly without blaming, or walk away.  Easier said than done; especially for highly sensitive people (often an extremely positive quality).  If you need help with effective communication and managing emotions, call me for a free consult: 516 623 4353  www.balanceandpower.com 
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“The silent treatment” is the most common form of withholding and encompasses any unwillingness to express your true feelings, including an unwillingness to give support, praise, or positive attention to the people you love. We have all known someone who is impossible to please, and many of us have suddenly found ourselves at the other end of a chilly silence with no explanation. At the same time, many of us will recognize our own tendency to withhold our emotions rather than express them. Most of us have seen both sides of the withholding dilemma. Emotional pain is at the root of our tendency to withhold, and withholding causes pain to the people subjected to it. It is a dysfunctional pattern that creates a breakdown in communication and understanding.

When you are feeling ignored, disrespected, or shut out, remember if this is happening to you is that you are not to blame. You are caught in someone else’s pain pattern. This person does not know how to express feelings in a healthy way probably because this is what they learned when she or he was a child. The second helpful thing to remember is that the withholder is acting out of pain. They are stuck in a habitual mode of response that is self-defeating and alienating to the people they love. Remembering this will help you feel compassion for the person hurting you. However, if you have suffered too long with this pattern, you may need to get some space and get some help…

Take time to look at your own patterns and understand why you have taken part in this drama. If you are dealing with people in a family situation, you can step up to the plate to help break the chain of this behavior pattern.   If, on the other hand, it is you that tends to withhold, understand that this is a learned response and it can be unlearned. ~ and can take time.

Find safe places to begin to express all that you’ve been holding back. Begin to make an effort to say what you’re feeling and thinking in safe places.  Praise those you love. The more you do this, the healthier you and your relationships will become.    

FREE consult: 516623 4353  www.balanceandpower.com  

Relationship coaching is intended to help people in any relationship such as married couples, unmarried couples, family members or co-workers. A relationship is always, like our lives, in a state of movement and change. A relationship coach helps you maximize that change in a positive way, places you more in control of it and of how you feel. Looking at events and what a person says in a different way, creating a new perspective or re-framing can help you reconnect with the positive aspects in a relationship and empower you to let go of the old patterns and perhaps, the relationship.

Download The 10 Tips to Building a Strong Relationship (pdf)

Contact Eileen today for a Free Consultaion.

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There’s lots of research out there and I do resonate with most of it -based on my personal experiences, professional trainings and working with couples or one of a relationship in trouble.

If you want to stay together below are few of insights and tips that work if you work them- and that may be you are the only one working them – so after some time passage, it may be necessary to reevaluate and reprioritize goals – perhaps while seeing a relationship coach.  Did you know that an unhappy marriage can increase your chances of getting sick by roughly 35% and even shorten your life by an average of four years.

  • Major differences of opinion don’t destroy marriages, it’s how a couple deals with them.
  • Believing and being OK with you can’t change the other person.
  • Really knowing each other is vital:  Be deeply familiar with each other’s world…and allow your awareness to include your spouse’s world change.
  • When fighting, do your best to avoid using the word you and try to use the word I. This makes it much easier to express feelings and much harder to attack the other person.

Need help with this? FREE phone consult: 516 623 4353  www.balanceandpower.com     Client sessions in Westbury, NY and video Skype.

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John Gottman at the University of Washington has gathered a persuasive body of evidence that meta-emotions are the most important variable in terms of predicting whether or not a marriage will last. Do you believe you should express anger? Or do you believe in holding it in and waiting for it to fizzle out? Do you think happiness should be shared but anger should be suppressed? Sharing your meta-emotional style gives you a common emotional template, a common language.

What does this mean???

Dealing with feelings – anger, sadness, happiness – in similar ways!

Not easy – and the same literature severely puts down online dating as similar interests may be fun – but not necessarily long lasting.

So – if you’re stuck in a relationship or marriage that is no longer working – perhaps it’s time to change things and understand from your partner’s perspective, and perhaps change your m.o. – or not. If you want to give this a go -and/or release anger and learn how to better deal with that –

call me for a free consult: 516 623 4353  www.balanceandpower.com

sicily angels

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People love to be asked open-ended questions that start with “what” or “how”  because it let’s them feel like they’re educating you and it gives them a feeling of being in control. It works on two levels. One, it tends to create a more collaborative environment, which means you’re going to make a better deal. And, two, if the other side is trying to gain control, it lets them drop their guard, so that you can get the upper hand.
Playing dumb is an effective strategy. Keep asking those “how” or “what” questions.

I see couples in my Westbury office, as well as individuals and small groups who really are “trying hard” and..ebook-cover-anger-web

Free Consult: 516 623 4353

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