|Productive, successful and happy people constantly set goals and work to make them happen. This gives us focus and ensures that we use our time and energy efficiently and effectively. It also provides us with a sense of purpose and direction. We know where we are going and what we want to do. Quite often, however, due to forces outside our control, things do not go as we had planned. Life and career often calls us to be flexible – even at short notice, to reconsider our plans and priorities, sometimes in the blink of an eye.
The ability to accept what is happening and let go of original expectations is key when dealing with these unexpected turns of fate. We often have the tendency to get stuck in our heads, clinging to an idea of how we think things or relationships should go, and we can have a hard time accepting anything that doesn’t comply with that idea. The fact is that life and business is often unpredictable.Below you’ll find 8 things to do when life – or business – throws you a curveball:
1.Don’t Overgeneralize. Just because something unexpected has temporarily knocked the wind out of you it doesn’t mean that you’ll never achieve the things that you want, or that you’re doomed to fail and struggle for the rest of your days.
2. Find Perspective. You can’t see the future. Would your life have been perfect or even better if you had gotten the contract? Not lost the partner? Maybe; but maybe not. What looks like a huge loss at the present could be a blessing in disguise. You don’t know yet.
3. Practice Acceptance. In his book “The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success” Deepak Chopra explains “The Law of Least Effort”, which is basically the principle of no resistance. One component of this principle is acceptance. You can wish for things to be different in the future, but at this moment in time you have to accept things as they are.
4. Decrease Your Ego’s Involvement. Even if you feel that you’ve been wronged, you need to stop thinking along the following lines:
§ How dare they do this to me?
§ Don’t they know who I am?
§ They’ll be sorry they did this.
This kind of thinking consumes an enormous amount of energy and doesn’t help you in any way. In “The Art of Dreaming” Don Juan tells Carlos Castaneda the following:
“Most of our energy goes into upholding our importance . . . If we were capable of losing some of that importance, two extraordinary things would happen to us. One, we would free our energy from trying to maintain the illusory idea of our grandeur; and two, we would provide ourselves with enough energy to . . . catch a glimpse of the actual grandeur of the universe.”
By refusing to identify with your ego and things personally, you will be able to stop linking your sense of self to what happened. Don Miguel Ruiz, author of “The Four Agreements” is also a firm believer in “Don’t Take Anything Personally” – The Second Agreement. This will free up energy that you can then use to create better circumstances for yourself.
5. Meditate. When you’re stressed, fearful, angry, or anxious—which are feelings that often accompany an event that has a negative impact on your life–, your brain’s rhythm increases and brain activity rises. The more stressed you become, the more rapidly your brain waves vibrate. Meditating slows down your brain’s rhythm, which is conducive to a relaxed state of mind which allows you to generate alternatives, see opportunities, and come up with creative solutions. That is, meditating will help put you in a more resourceful state of mind.
6. Shift Your Focus To the Positive. Instead of dwelling on your loss, shift your focus to the good things that are still in your life. If you have your health and a good head on your shoulders you have a lot to be grateful for. Focus on that.
7. Focus on the Future. The curveball you were thrown probably set your goals off track. It makes sense to set new career goals for yourself and start moving toward the new destination that you’ve set for yourself.
8. Focus on What You Can Control. One of the reasons why being thrown a curveball is so incredibly painful is because it makes you feel like you have no control over what happens to you. After all, you did everything right. But the “right” results didn’t materialize, in spite of your efforts and there’s little that you can do about it. Therefore, turn your focus to things you can control and possibly new skills or contacts that will help in reaching your new goals. Whenever you feel helpless or victimized because of something that has happened to you, turn your attention to the things that you can change, or the things that you can do. By doing what you can, with what you have, where you are, you’ll gradually begin to feel like you’re back in control of your life.
Being open with goals and yet unattached to outcome can be difficult to achieve. I have found this to take much practice –and have always been better at it- and anything, while being centered and grounded. Next time a curveball comes my way, I will take a deep breath and open my mind to a new opportunity! My hope dear reader, is that you will as well! I help many to get past curved balls and move on.
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Archive for the ‘overwhelm’ Category
Posted in anxiety, emowerment, focus, global crisis, grounding, meditate, meditation, overwhelm, stress reduction, stress resilience, Uncategorized, tagged guided relaxation, inner sanctuary, meditation, stress, tension, wellness on November 22, 2015| Leave a Comment »
At your core is a reservoir of very positive energy, a world of quiet and stillness, and innate qualities of goodness, peace and love. This is your true inner self. Through this time of global turmoil, it is helpful to retreat into your inner sanctuary several times a day when possible or at least once daily. We can’t always go to the ocean or a forest, but can always go to the oasis of peace inside of ourselves. This creates well being, and lets go of a sense of overwhelm and helplessness that many are feeling. Instead, you can feel calm, focused and empowered. When any situations come, just go deep into your inner sanctuary, your reservoir of quiet and stillness – an oasis of peace. No matter how you feel, you can change simply by shifting into inner focus.
Notice that thoughts are slowing down as you move deeper into quietness and stillness in the guided meditation below. Nothing to fear. No worries. Let thoughts just dissolve into space, as you move deeper and deeper into your inner being of quietness, stillness, peace. This is your inner sanctuary.
So…now get comfortable in your chair or lying down. Relax your body while staying alert. Take a deep breath in through nose, belly expanding before chest. Exhale nose or mouth, belly deflating last. Take another long slow deep breath, paying attention to this feeling for a few moments. When thoughts pop up, just gently bring the mind back to the breath, letting the thoughts go. Picture them just floating away on a cloud or down a stream. If it is an important thought, just gently tell yourself to put it aside for now and that you’ll give it full attention after meditation.
Release any tension in your body, envisioning each part of your body, one at a time, starting with toes, and first tighten and tense, and then relax and let go of each muscle, all the up to your jaw and eyes. Take a deep breath and let out a loud sigh.
And now relax your mind and let go of tense feelings and worry, beginning to feel light and calm. Envision a beautiful healing white light of positive energy entering your whole body as you breathe in, and the darkness of any tension, irritation, disappointment, or any negativity, being blown out and disappearing as you exhale. Let everything of the day, the past, the future, just go. When thoughts come, acknowledge them, and then watch them float by, and come back to your breath and to relaxing your body. Breathe in relaxation – breathe out tension…letting all stress just slip away.
Now, very slowly, prepare to return back to the awareness of your body, the chair you’re sitting on, the room. You feel very calm – relaxed and filled with peace. Cherish and hold on to this feeling throughout the day.
Moving Meditation® Fitness: A Fitness and Relaxation Program
Achieving maximum physical, emotional and spiritual health through relaxation breathing, movement, visualization/positive imagery and meditation.
Tracks 1-5 includes warm-up stretches and instruction in relaxation breathing. Original fluid upper body movements are then added along with visualizations and positive imagery. This program can be used with walking, running, skating, exercise bike, aquacise and seated exercise. It can also be used as a warm-up/cool down for a power walking or running program.
Tracks 5-8 includes progressive muscle relaxation, gentle stretches, and meditative sequences.
“Eileen Lichtenstein’s audio CD has helped me so much with my migraines. In only one week of listening and doing the relaxation exercises I have not gotten any headaches or migraines.”
– NZ, Anger Management Client
This article on post vacation re-entry tips by Jamie Herzlich has me quoted in Newsday . Here’s the link to the entire article: http://www.newsday.com/business/columnists/jamie-herzlich/small-business-before-vacation-plan-for-re-entry-1.8420147
” Set up an automatic email email response to let people know you’ll be out of the office.”
You may also enlist the services of a telephone answering service, which can help screen calls and alert you if you need to respond to something while you’re away.” (I’ve done this myself :))
“Don’t let yourself get overwhelmed. On your way home, mentally relive your vacation a bit so you have it fresh in your mind and you can access these visualizations daily.”
“Perhaps even build time into your to do list to transfer photos from your camera to your computer.”
“Don’t lose the essence of your vacation.”