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Archive for the ‘goals’ Category

The ability to communicate ‘no’ really reflects that you are in the driver’s seat of your own life, and can give gives you a sense of empowerment.  How to do it most effectively?

study in the Journal of Consumer Research by Professor Patrick and Henrik Hagtvedt found that saying “I don’t” as opposed to “I can’t” allowed participants to extract themselves from unwanted commitments.  While “I can’t” sounds like an excuse that’s up for debate, “I don’t” implies you’ve established certain rules for yourself, suggesting conviction and stability and are more effective in getting your point across.

There are a few other ways you can get more comfortable with saying no.

It’s a lot easier to be assertive with a stranger selling you something than it is when, say, your pleading co-worker asks for a ride to the airport. Get comfortable with your assertiveness when it’s easy so you’ll be prepared when there’s more pressure.

 It’s easier to say no when you know exactly how to say it, so come up with a few anchor phrases for different situations. “No, I don’t buy from solicitors” for door-to-door salespeople, for example. “No, I don’t go out during the week” for co-workers who want to go on a drinking binge on a Monday night.

When you have these phrases ready, you don’t have to waste time wavering over an excuse. And you start to develop a reflexive behavior of saying no.

Still, sometimes we’re afraid to say no because we fear missing out. We want to take on new opportunities and adventures, so we say yes to everything instead.  But all of those yeses can lead to burnout.

It can help to understand your own long-term goals This way, you can say yes to opportunities that most reflect your values. Second, try to build free time in your schedule so there’s room for new, interesting opportunities you might otherwise overlook.

Some worry that your no might seem threatening.  Research from Columbia University found that our perceptions of our own assertiveness are often unreliable. In mock negotiations, people who thought they were adequately assertive or even over-assertive were seen by others as under-assertive. So if you feel confrontational, there’s a good chance the other party doesn’t see you that way. It’s about operating at the most optimal level.  For most of us, that means living a happier and less stressful life, which is easier to do from the driver’s seat.

Being assertive is a core communication skill. Being assertive means that you express yourself effectively and stand up for your point of view, while also respecting the rights and beliefs of others. Being assertive can also help boost your self-esteem and earn others’ respect.  
Assertiveness can help you control stress and anger and improve coping skills.  Do you need help learning assertive behavior and communication? 
FREE CONSULT: 516 623 4353  one to one, group sessions in Westbury, NY. and Skype
 Image result for free graphic passive assertive aggressive communication

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We are the only ones who can control our attitude. By focusing on what is strong and enduring and seeing our potential, we can take calculated risks and overcome challenges.

• Optimism is not about sugar coating the truth. Lying gets you into trouble- even with yourself!

• Think of possibilities from different perspectives.

• Stop talking in absolutes. Eliminates the words nothing and never from self talk.

• Set specific goals that are attainable.• When you are feeling down due to personal circumstances, take stock of your strengths.

• Lower the stakes, not the standards: Don’t have your whole life riding on the outcome of one event

• Savor small triumphs, steps leading to the bigger picture.

• Set aside self blame and learn from your mistakes.

• Surround yourself with positive people

• Do not read, watch or listen to the news if you become “too upset”.

• Take a few minutes each day to reflect on your feelings.

• Cultivate generosity and gratitude.Image (155) (1)

SOAR! with Resilience® the Interactive Book for Overcoming Obstacles & Achieving Success”
Buy it on Amazon.com


Also Available: SOAR! with Resilience® the Interactive Book for Overcoming Obstacles & Achieving Success”
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If you need help with this, I recommend personal coaching: http://www.balanceandpower.com/coaching.php and meeting regularly with like minded folks.   FREE CONSULT:   516 623 4353 and www.balanceandpower.com

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Combining tasks and priorities whenever it is possible (versus multitasking) is a wonderful way to get more accomplished in a short time! Sometimes simply looking at a “to do” list of important “I must do today” tasks in an unhurried, thoughtful and self-brainstorming way, creates doable combinations. I’ve consistently been a fan of you can “have your cake and eat it too” philosophy when that makes sense and doesn’t create conflict.

It is my hope that you, dear reader, create happy, productive lives for yourselves, abundant in all that sustains you! I encourage you to pursue your passions and dreams, complete your goals and be grateful for it all, as it is not possible to feel sad or overwhelmed in the same moments that you feel grateful!

Need help prioritizing and making choices?

FREE phone consult: 516 623 4353       www.balanceandpower.com 

 

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Here’s what brain research says will make you happy:

  • “What am I grateful for?” Just asking -searching helps; you don’t need answers!
  • Label -name negative emotions. Your brain isn’t so bothered  when you name it.
  • Decide. No perfectionist thinking – good enough usually is!
  • Hugs, hugs, hugs.  Research shows getting five hugs a day for four weeks increases happiness big time.

FREE Consult: 516 623 4353               www.balanceandpower.com  

Everything is interconnected:

  • Gratitude improves sleep.
  • Sleep reduces pain.
  • Reduced pain improves your mood.
  • Improved mood reduces anxiety.
  • Reduced anxiety improves focus and planning.
  • Focus and planning help with decision making.
  • Decision making further reduces anxiety and improves enjoyment.
  • Enjoyment gives you more to be grateful for!
  • Enjoyment also makes it more likely you’ll exercise and be social, which, in turn, will make you happier.
  • ebook-cover-stress (1)

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In order to make 2016 your best year yet, experts suggest that we schedule a few minutes to ask ourselves and answer a few questions so our year is planned in advance. As you likely know, planning is bringing the future into the present, writing crystallizes thinking and crystallized thought motivates action.

1. What am I doing to improve and use more of my potential?

2. What goals have I written to accomplish?

3. Are they specific, measureable, attainable, realistic and tangible?

4. Have I created detailed plans of actions with monthly steps to reach them?

5. What obstacles do I face to achieve these goals?

6. How am I going to overcome these obstacles and roadblocks?

The following study demonstrates the importance of goal setting:

VALUE of WRITTEN GOALS

Harvard Business School Survey of Successful People

% BEHAVIOR RESULTS
3 Written Goals, Specific Plan Financially Independent
10 General Goals Live Comfortably
60 Survival (Day to Day) Goals Paycheck to Paycheck
27 No Goals Financial Assistance Needed

 

The 3% group with written goals outproduced the 10% group from10 to 100 to 1!

 

The average net worth of the 3% group was  50 times greater than the 10% group!!!

I have several coaching packages to help you formulate and reach your goals and offer a

FREE CONSULTATION: 516 623 4353  eileen@balanceandpower.com

 

 

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DeStress Tips III by Eileen Lichtenstein, CEO www.balanceandpower.com 

~Want to discuss any of these, or need help,? Call me for a FREE PHONE CONSULT: 516 623 4353~

DeStress Tip: Honor your boundaries and say no~ ow.ly/xgBS5

DeStress Tip: Hold Hope ow.ly/xgBaV fb.me/346z3XGXc

DeStress Tip: Inner strength and being centered are keys to life and business success! ow.ly/xgCsZ fb.me/2d1K8H98k

DeStress Tip: Be fearless!~! ow.ly/xgBmd fb.me/31nXwCSsV

DeStress Tip: Disconnect from technology, from work related stuff for an hour, a half day, weekend, week… fb.me/6TIlRfRqR

DeStress Tip: Stop second guessing! ow.ly/xgAwD fb.me/2OBt465UV

DeStress Tip: See the whole chessboard when u play chess! ie: Don’t lose your temp[er on the road!~… fb.me/455zqB7Nu

DeStress Tip: “Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you, knowing that… fb.me/2UDm0FAhQ

DeStress Tip: Get in front of a mirror and practice smiling. While working your grin, take a minute to… fb.me/3C1AWxonO

DeStress Tip: Stop negative self talk. Switch the thoughts of negativity to positive mantras, such as “I am a strong woman (man)!”

DeStress Tip: Write down five things that you are proud about and stick the list in your wallet to pull out to… fb.me/3h1nJWuiQ

DeStress Tip: Emotional eating-stress a vicious cycle. You have the power to stop it! ow.ly/xf4Pc fb.me/3sk80z8Oj

DeStress Tip: Listen well instead of reacting in anger. ow.ly/xf4uBfb.me/1b10oe99r

DeStress Tip: Be grateful always!! It’s more important ever on this day of rememberance- ow.ly/xf4Iv fb.me/35VD7TKcc

DeStress Tip: Make your Goals Realistic & Reachable! ow.ly/wXQAXfb.me/3tNCZ4vY1

DeStress Tip: Exercise! Ditching exercise for a more sedentary way of life can have an overall negative effect on… fb.me/3imdJ7YUT

DeStress Tip: Exercise and you will feel better about yourself and the more likely you are to live a healthy… fb.me/3tuGlB7S1

De-Stress Tip: Stop emotional eating! Feel confident, healthy & in control. 🙂ow.ly/wXPWj fb.me/18dYfHsOH

DeStress Tip: If you are able to take a step back and laugh at yourself and the absurdity of life every now and then, things won’t seem…

DeStress Tip: Regardless of the outcome, following through boosts confidence and reassures us that when all is… fb.me/3ILcRMkSn

DeStress Tip: We need the action/practice component for ultimate productivity powerful positive language to become a happy habit!…

DeStress Tip: Making and sticking to a decision is a source of happiness because it gives you a sense of control, of efficacy.

DeStress Tip: Laugh More!: A small child typically laughs more than four hundred times a day, and an adult-… fb.me/2SuM58kiI

DeStress Tip: Acting in an outgoing, talkative, adventurous or assertive way makes people- even introverts-feel… fb.me/3ShSe4ZAe

DeStress Tip: Happier people are more interested in social problems. They do more volunteer work and contribute. fb.me/1tKKZilEF

DeStress Tip: Did you know that the brain is stimulated by surprise?ow.ly/wHgMO fb.me/2BGHJEHj9

DeStress Tip:  8 Tips for Feeling Happier wp.me/poyvn-PN

DeStress Tip: Self-love is the one most important thing to create your best life. ow.ly/wHgyM fb.me/2nJvGczED

DeStress Tip: Focus is a skill you can develop. Do you know you can rewire negative patterns??
ow.ly/wHghi

DeStress Tip: 10 Tips to Stop Self-Sabotage fb.me/1iORMVSRd

DeStress Tip: Transition = Opportunities ow.ly/ws5oa

DeStress Tip: Perfectionism is the enemy of creativity and productivity. You don’t even have to be creating… fb.me/6LtLacATj

De-Stress Tip: “Progress always involves risk. You can’t steal second base and keep your foot on first.” – Bob… fb.me/6TjurOU0a

DeStress Tip: A great appreciation of nature and our connection to it enhances our spirit and helps to connect us… fb.me/3rBKOuWdn

DeStress Tip: Meditating can help develop the art of patience.

DeStress Tip: Patience means allowing things to unfold at their own speed rather than jumping in with your… fb.me/1bz1T3ZuL

DeStress Tip: Take time to access what you have in front of you, take a break and re-evaluate. ow.ly/wdrSX

DeStress Tip:  Stop Smoking with EFT! ow.ly/wdt0u

DeStress Tip: Studies show that expressing anger only aggravates it.

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  1. Learn EFT to overcome obstacles and discover what they may be if you do not know.Image
  2. Prioritize and set a realistic time limit for tasks to be completed relatively in the near future.     Work  backwards from  the deadline  date.
  3. Tackle least favorite tasks first. You will feel more focused, accomplished and  a burden lifted.
  4. Ask for assistance or even delegate it if you can.  Asking for assistance a sign of accountability, a very desirable trait in the workplace.
  5. Release any tendency towards perfectionism.  Collaborate with others (e.g., boss, friends, family) to get different perspective. 

Stop self sabotage now! You may ask me for assistance – simply contact me for a FREE consult

www.balanceandpower.com  516 623 4353

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