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Archive for the ‘forgiveness’ Category

Gratitude has been getting a lot of press in self-help/development curriculums because it is essential to acknowledge personal gratefuluness in several categories to help up your forgivess quotient and helps transition you into the happiness realm! Try this: Sit back, close your eyes and visualize everything you are grateful for including several of these categories:

  • personal attributes and abilities
  • people in your life
  • material things in your life
  • a lifestyle
  • environment

Let it free flow and then write them down in columns.  Review this whenever you are feeling down, first thing in the morning and before bed.

Gratitude, Forgiveness, Happiness and Stress, Anger, Depression  

Forgiveness of one’s self for wrong doings and poor attitudes is necessary before you can forgive others, as loving oneself must happen before you are able to love others.    Forgiveness of heinous crimes is not possible for most people and not necessary. You do not need to let go of 100% anger/guilt to let go and move on.  Try forgiving a percentage, and “work on it” through EFT,  guided imagery and de-sensitization techniques, hypnosis, life coaching  to get the percentage higher.  It can be helpful in acknowledging that those in question may have been doing the best they knew how or were capable of (due to personal history, mental capacity, mental illness).

Depression is almost always  supressed, repressed, not communicated (or communicated partially) anger, with or without genetic tendencies.Balance and Power - Eileen Lichtenstein - HALF

Anger expressed at over-the-top levels results in socially unacceptable aggressive behavior that steps over physical and/or emotional  boundaries (hitting-pushing-punching-pulling, property damage including throwing things, slamming doors and name calling, cursing-yelling. Health related symptoms of high anger and stress levels include high blood pressure, headaches, racing pulse, difficulty breathing, tight muscles.

Stress levels elevate when feeling out of control or “overwhelmed” and may cause someone to exhibit angrily acting out or be irritable.  The flip side is a depressive episode.

It is important to remember that human beings are not perfect and we all “mess-up” at times.  If you or someone you are close to  experience any of the above on an ongoing basis or regularly, it is time to get help!  Often learning simple coping strategies and techniques as well as how to  communicate effectively is all you need to do- in conjunction with a practitioner you feel comfortable with and can create a trusting relationship with.

I am a certified Anger Management Specialist, EFT Practitioner, Peak Performance Success Coach and (former) biofeedback  practitioner (this training includes relaxation techniques, de-sensitization techniques, guided imagery and self-trance).  I work with individuals and groups  via telephone, skype and face to face in Wantagh, Long Island  and go on site for corporate and organizational trainings.  Currently, a hot topic (unfortunately) is Workplace Bullying.

FREE PHONE CONSULT 516 623 4353   www.balanceandpower.com 

 

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One of the reasons that forgiveness can be so challenging is that we feel we are condoning the actions of the person who caused our suffering, but this is a misunderstanding of what is required. In order to forgive, we simply need to get to a place where we are ready to stop identifying ourselves with the suffering that was caused us. Forgiveness is something we do for ourselves, and our forgiveness of others is an extension of our readiness to let go of our own pain. Getting to this point begins with fully accepting what has happened. Through this acceptance, we allow ourselves to feel and process our emotions.  EFTtapping can help!!!

Confidential consult: 516 623 4353  http://www.balanceandpower.com/eft.php

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It is best to address negative thoughts as they arise, rather than suppressing-repressing (or pushing them down) only to resurface later, often when we least expect it – sometimes in angry inappropriateness.

 On the other hand, if we allow ourselves to be fully human, honoring all the thoughts, feelings, and moods that pass through us on a given day, we create a more conscious relationship with ourselves. Instead of blocking out thoughts and feelings that we label as negative, we can simply observe them and then let them go. They only get stuck when we react to them negatively, pushing them down and out of sight where they get lodged in our unconscious minds.

TRY:

~Develop a practice of following any negative thought with a positive thought. This works well because positive thoughts are many times more powerful than negative thoughts!

~Develop a friendlier attitude toward yourself and trust your inherent goodness.

Need Help? http://www.balanceandpower.com   516 623 4353

 

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It is natural to feel resentment or anger when life does not unfold as expected. Perhaps expectations are not met, or relationships fail and we grieve for the loss.  Most of the time, we work through these feelings and they pass.
Anger and resentment must fade or will be transformed into bitterness. Bitter feelings allow us to become perfect victims in that we no longer feel obliged to work toward healing and choose instead to identify with our pain. When we acknowledge that it is okay to feel bitter, we reconnect with our hurt in a constructive way and can begin the process of working through it.

Being bitter is, in essence,  cutting ourselves off from all that is positive, hardening our hearts and vowing never to let go of our hurt. When we decide that we no longer want to be bitter,  the veil it cast over our lives is lifted, letting light and warmth touch our souls.
Letting go of bitter feelings can be as simple as truly forgiving and moving on. Even when your bitterness has no concrete object, you can forgive situations.  Healing pain can be challenging but may be easier if you remind yourself that you are the only one truly affected by your emotional state.  Letting go of bitterness frees you to initiate the healing process and allows you to once again celebrate the possibility of the more wonderful life you deserve.

 Need help with “letting go”? : Free consult: 516 623 4353  www.balanceandpower.com 

Balance and Power - Eileen Lichtenstein - HALF

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ebook-cover-angerForgiveness has been said to be an antidote to anger  in your life because every time you remember the injustice, and you will remember it since forgiving is NOT forgetting, you choose to release the perpetrator from the debt that she/he owes you.  You may read about the Biehl’s amazing journey here:

http://thejourneyofhope.blogspot.ca/2009/03/amy-biehl-and-improbable-tale-of.html

And…The Mayo Clinic Staff reports that researchers are claiming that, in addition to improving your spiritual health, forgiveness may have benefits for your physical health, too.  This is definitely something that warrants our attention!  It is being said that “letting go of grudges and bitterness can make way for compassion, kindness and peace, and that forgiveness can lead to:

  •  Healthier relationships
  • Greater spiritual and psychological well-being
  • Less anxiety, stress and hostility
  • Lower blood pressure
  • Fewer symptoms of depression
  • Lower risk of alcohol and substance abuse”

Well, this helps explain the statement I’ve heard and read again and again that if you experience a high level of gratitude you cannot be depressed.  This makes sense since depression is anger suppressed.  Imagine a line with frustration in the middle.  It can go either way- one end is depression(extremely suppressed anger) and the other is a high anger level – often in an inappropriate, aggressive way.

The University of Maryland School of Medicine  is researching the connection between anger and  “unforgiveness”. Anger is a component of unforgiveness and anger is a health risk.  Then is unforgiveness  a health risk  as well? Included in the research are studies with aids patients.  Knowing more about the nature and course of anger expression in the context of unforgiveness will ultimately help define and clarify this area of research.

Now I’ll share a few important points that can be helpful in letting go of anger- something I’ve learned as an Advanced EFTtapping  (Emotional Freedom Techniques) Certified Practitioner in a training I attended and has been reinforced in my trainings to facilitate Anger Management.

  • As the victim, it’s OK to forgive only a small percent.
  • Perhaps the other’s behavior was impacted by a chemical/emotional imbalance
  • *** The other was doing what he/she knew how to do – perhaps learned – no matter.
  • It’s possible that the action was not meant “personally” – it was simply an “M.O.”
  • It’s impossible to change another person’s way of dealing; only your own.

If you or someone you love gets help with managing anger and/or letting it go as a victim, then stress is automatically addressed and therefore health will improve too!

 Balance & Power, Inc. has been addressing stress and anger management issues for two decades, corporately and  in the educational and private sectors, and is now facilitating Workplace Bullying Prevention trainings.

Download: Workplace Bullying Prevention Programs (pdf)

Bullying in the workplace, the schools and at home has reached epidemic proportions – it is our goal to help eliminate these type of situations. I believe inner strength and being centered are keys to optimal productivity and happiness. I’m a Certified Anger Management Specialist accepted by the US courts, a former Biofeedback Practitioner and faculty member Hofstra University. My office is in Westbury, NY, the telephone, Video Skype or on your site.  

When you’re having difficulties with forgiveness or anger, success and career coaching, anger and stress management strategies, & EFT can turn it around!  I’m a certified Anger Management Specialist-1 Fellow accepted by the courts.

Call me for a complimentary consult: 516 623 4353   http://www.balanceandpower.com/anger.php 

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Click on the link below to take you to these articles:

http://www.wobcmagazine.com/search/Eileen%20Lichtenstein

06/26/2014 Tips for Smooth Travels and Fun
05/26/2014 What Is The One Most Important Thing to Create Your BEST Life?
05/06/2014 10 Tips to Stop Self-Sabotage
04/26/2014 Blame & Anger Never Work
04/01/2014 Bouncing Back
03/03/2014 Positive Attitude: A Necessary Leadership and Success Component
02/24/2014 How to Transform a Good Relationship to Great!
02/24/2014 Stop Self-Sabotage and Manage Emotions Under Pressure
01/25/2014 Spontaneity + Intuition + Action Plan = Success Strategy
01/25/2014 How to Transform Burn-out to Balance
01/25/2014 Harmony vs. Work/Life Balance
01/13/2014 The Power of Visualization to Reduce Stress and Achieve Your Goals

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DeStress Tips III by Eileen Lichtenstein, CEO www.balanceandpower.com 

~Want to discuss any of these, or need help,? Call me for a FREE PHONE CONSULT: 516 623 4353~

DeStress Tip: Honor your boundaries and say no~ ow.ly/xgBS5

DeStress Tip: Hold Hope ow.ly/xgBaV fb.me/346z3XGXc

DeStress Tip: Inner strength and being centered are keys to life and business success! ow.ly/xgCsZ fb.me/2d1K8H98k

DeStress Tip: Be fearless!~! ow.ly/xgBmd fb.me/31nXwCSsV

DeStress Tip: Disconnect from technology, from work related stuff for an hour, a half day, weekend, week… fb.me/6TIlRfRqR

DeStress Tip: Stop second guessing! ow.ly/xgAwD fb.me/2OBt465UV

DeStress Tip: See the whole chessboard when u play chess! ie: Don’t lose your temp[er on the road!~… fb.me/455zqB7Nu

DeStress Tip: “Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you, knowing that… fb.me/2UDm0FAhQ

DeStress Tip: Get in front of a mirror and practice smiling. While working your grin, take a minute to… fb.me/3C1AWxonO

DeStress Tip: Stop negative self talk. Switch the thoughts of negativity to positive mantras, such as “I am a strong woman (man)!”

DeStress Tip: Write down five things that you are proud about and stick the list in your wallet to pull out to… fb.me/3h1nJWuiQ

DeStress Tip: Emotional eating-stress a vicious cycle. You have the power to stop it! ow.ly/xf4Pc fb.me/3sk80z8Oj

DeStress Tip: Listen well instead of reacting in anger. ow.ly/xf4uBfb.me/1b10oe99r

DeStress Tip: Be grateful always!! It’s more important ever on this day of rememberance- ow.ly/xf4Iv fb.me/35VD7TKcc

DeStress Tip: Make your Goals Realistic & Reachable! ow.ly/wXQAXfb.me/3tNCZ4vY1

DeStress Tip: Exercise! Ditching exercise for a more sedentary way of life can have an overall negative effect on… fb.me/3imdJ7YUT

DeStress Tip: Exercise and you will feel better about yourself and the more likely you are to live a healthy… fb.me/3tuGlB7S1

De-Stress Tip: Stop emotional eating! Feel confident, healthy & in control. 🙂ow.ly/wXPWj fb.me/18dYfHsOH

DeStress Tip: If you are able to take a step back and laugh at yourself and the absurdity of life every now and then, things won’t seem…

DeStress Tip: Regardless of the outcome, following through boosts confidence and reassures us that when all is… fb.me/3ILcRMkSn

DeStress Tip: We need the action/practice component for ultimate productivity powerful positive language to become a happy habit!…

DeStress Tip: Making and sticking to a decision is a source of happiness because it gives you a sense of control, of efficacy.

DeStress Tip: Laugh More!: A small child typically laughs more than four hundred times a day, and an adult-… fb.me/2SuM58kiI

DeStress Tip: Acting in an outgoing, talkative, adventurous or assertive way makes people- even introverts-feel… fb.me/3ShSe4ZAe

DeStress Tip: Happier people are more interested in social problems. They do more volunteer work and contribute. fb.me/1tKKZilEF

DeStress Tip: Did you know that the brain is stimulated by surprise?ow.ly/wHgMO fb.me/2BGHJEHj9

DeStress Tip:  8 Tips for Feeling Happier wp.me/poyvn-PN

DeStress Tip: Self-love is the one most important thing to create your best life. ow.ly/wHgyM fb.me/2nJvGczED

DeStress Tip: Focus is a skill you can develop. Do you know you can rewire negative patterns??
ow.ly/wHghi

DeStress Tip: 10 Tips to Stop Self-Sabotage fb.me/1iORMVSRd

DeStress Tip: Transition = Opportunities ow.ly/ws5oa

DeStress Tip: Perfectionism is the enemy of creativity and productivity. You don’t even have to be creating… fb.me/6LtLacATj

De-Stress Tip: “Progress always involves risk. You can’t steal second base and keep your foot on first.” – Bob… fb.me/6TjurOU0a

DeStress Tip: A great appreciation of nature and our connection to it enhances our spirit and helps to connect us… fb.me/3rBKOuWdn

DeStress Tip: Meditating can help develop the art of patience.

DeStress Tip: Patience means allowing things to unfold at their own speed rather than jumping in with your… fb.me/1bz1T3ZuL

DeStress Tip: Take time to access what you have in front of you, take a break and re-evaluate. ow.ly/wdrSX

DeStress Tip:  Stop Smoking with EFT! ow.ly/wdt0u

DeStress Tip: Studies show that expressing anger only aggravates it.

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