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Archive for the ‘choices’ Category

Are you a frequent “second guesser?” There are many possibilities of why, which I’m not going to focus on here. The important thing now is to stop questioning practically every decision you make, do the best you can – believing that you are – to make confident choices.

Frequent words-phrases of second guessing are could have, should have, if only, why didn’t I, I would have. These are usually used as a way of expressing tension before or after having made a decision. Adding to the negative situation, you may feel angry with yourself and berate yourself for having created a stressful situation. Perhaps you do not do anything, being ambivalent about your choices, and feel stuck and powerless.

Here are some tips to help break a pattern of “second guessing” and making confident choices:

• Think about why you lack trust in your judgment.
• Ask yourself what is the worst thing that can happen if you say no to someone…
• Know that we aren’t perfect. Learn something from your mistakes and move on.
• Eliminate the phrases and words that indicate uncertainty and second guessing, (2nd paragraph).

Do you need help and encouragement taking “risks” and trusting yourself, in changing old patterns to make confident choices and take confident actions?
You may Contact me for a Free Consult-Strategy session via telephone.
516 623 4353 http://www.balanceandpower.comFall 2008-UK-Budapest-Spain_140

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You always have a choice even though you may not realize it in the moment. Circumstances may be beyond your control; your attitude is your choice.

Going to the places that scare you, being fearless and choosing to be resilient, that’s what this blog is about.

I became fearless going on the “scary” rides in Coney Island, Brooklyn as a child even though I never would go on the parachute- there were known accidents on that one and I was very safety conscious- Mom was a worrier.  Do you know that only 8% of what we worry about is over legitimate concerns (worry!).
Going in the front car of the roller coaster, approaching the top (with friends of course ) and looking at the big drop ahead gave no time to do anything except scream & hold on tight! So it went through the fun summer months. Thinking back over the years, I did many courageous things and not much scared me. Here are a few that got me thinking back to the scary rides…:
Walking on hot coals while on a mind body spirit retreat in Santa Fe ( first time away from my young children too). We had lots of prep time and when it was my turn I was ready. Awesome.

Skiing.This wasn’t worth it for me; injured and it could’ve been worse… Later on I took up cross country- fun!

Para sailing Puerto Vallarta, Mexico. This was the ultimate overcome of fear of heights for me. I was sitting on the beach for several days meditating (and drinking pina coladas) and surprised myself with the conscious decision into action. Very challenging and I did look down a few times when I wasn’t looking at the mountain.

Forty-nine years ago: Steve & I rode our bikes out of Florence (where we bought the racers- and mine was a boy’s with the bar- the only kind made at the time) and I scared myself with a coughing attack that precipitated me throwing the pack(s) of Marlboros out- which was scary ‘cause I couldn’t imagine not smoking “cold turkey” which I succeeded at. And it was difficult- maybe not scary- to totally change our travel plans so that we went back to the city and got the bikes on trains that rode out of the seven hills, through the Alps and landed us in Germany to enjoy the rolling hills (so we could use all the gears ) and along the Rhine onto Holland. Of course we stopped to eat and sleep in foreign lands- sometimes in hostels and sometimes in the forest, scary and amazing.
I’m happy to be telling you all now. When friends and strangers comment on (both) our daughters living in Europe – I smile and am happy we brought them up with roots and wings – and the ability to navigate the scary and unknown.
• The scariest thing of all for me was 9/11 and the period following that. Were we really OK? Then it became more than me and being empty nested- yes our daughters already just in Europe- and it was much more than getting off the coach and back onto the treadmill and back into the gym- even that was scary after a dark period.
• Now getting through the airports is kinda scary. Getting off the Long Island RR into Penn station is fine if I look straight ahead and focus. That’s it, and what I recommend:
When things get scary look straight ahead and focus. Be in the moment as much as times permit.

Be Present. Be Happy.
Be Resilient!
We’ve got the Now! Only once.  CONSULT 516 623 4353 www.balanceandpower.com 

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Does your mind keep going over the same choices without resolution? 

Perhaps you’ve not analyzed pros and cons; perhaps you’ve over analyzed.

Perhaps you’re procrastinating – always based on fear (of failure, of being judged, of success, of being controlled).

Perhaps you’re in perfectionism mode and stuck.

Perhaps you need to figure out where-what your strengths are and what your personal power is before you can move forward with good choices.

Need help? Free Consult: 516 623 4353   www.balanceandpower.com 

 

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Perhaps you do not even know it…or feel it heating up and it’s not too hot yet so you just want to relax…

Well, before it becomes too hot to handle, check in with yourself – what is your body feeling?  Can you take a few deep breaths and notice more?

The hot water you’re sitting in is often full of anger, regret, shame, fear, guilt, anxiety, stress and more. When it  Have you accepted a level of pain in your body that you’ve simply just gotten used to?  People in pain often have had it for so long, that it’s just a part of life. That’s called, “you’re in hot water” and you’ve become used to it!

You can actually feel strong and vibrant, regardless of your age!

EFTtapping and coaching can help with this!  Call me for a Free Consult: 516 623 4353

 

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Creating a routine that encompasses everything that is important to you requires discipline and knowing yourself.  Sometimes we need to step back and contemplate – meditate on various aspects and possibilities.  Priorities are easier to manage  when you are flexible enough to accept uncertainties and have confidence that you will make good choices.  Devoting yourself to aspects of your life that are most important to you and taking responsibility for your actions are the keys to great prioritizing!

Need help with this? Contact me to arrange for a FREE phone consult/strategy session:www.balanceandpower.com Image (155) (1)

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