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The ability to communicate ‘no’ really reflects that you are in the driver’s seat of your own life, and can give gives you a sense of empowerment.  How to do it most effectively?

study in the Journal of Consumer Research by Professor Patrick and Henrik Hagtvedt found that saying “I don’t” as opposed to “I can’t” allowed participants to extract themselves from unwanted commitments.  While “I can’t” sounds like an excuse that’s up for debate, “I don’t” implies you’ve established certain rules for yourself, suggesting conviction and stability and are more effective in getting your point across.

There are a few other ways you can get more comfortable with saying no.

It’s a lot easier to be assertive with a stranger selling you something than it is when, say, your pleading co-worker asks for a ride to the airport. Get comfortable with your assertiveness when it’s easy so you’ll be prepared when there’s more pressure.

 It’s easier to say no when you know exactly how to say it, so come up with a few anchor phrases for different situations. “No, I don’t buy from solicitors” for door-to-door salespeople, for example. “No, I don’t go out during the week” for co-workers who want to go on a drinking binge on a Monday night.

When you have these phrases ready, you don’t have to waste time wavering over an excuse. And you start to develop a reflexive behavior of saying no.

Still, sometimes we’re afraid to say no because we fear missing out. We want to take on new opportunities and adventures, so we say yes to everything instead.  But all of those yeses can lead to burnout.

It can help to understand your own long-term goals This way, you can say yes to opportunities that most reflect your values. Second, try to build free time in your schedule so there’s room for new, interesting opportunities you might otherwise overlook.

Some worry that your no might seem threatening.  Research from Columbia University found that our perceptions of our own assertiveness are often unreliable. In mock negotiations, people who thought they were adequately assertive or even over-assertive were seen by others as under-assertive. So if you feel confrontational, there’s a good chance the other party doesn’t see you that way. It’s about operating at the most optimal level.  For most of us, that means living a happier and less stressful life, which is easier to do from the driver’s seat.

Being assertive is a core communication skill. Being assertive means that you express yourself effectively and stand up for your point of view, while also respecting the rights and beliefs of others. Being assertive can also help boost your self-esteem and earn others’ respect.  
Assertiveness can help you control stress and anger and improve coping skills.  Do you need help learning assertive behavior and communication? 
FREE CONSULT: 516 623 4353  one to one, group sessions in Westbury, NY. and Skype
 Image result for free graphic passive assertive aggressive communication

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anger management Wantagh
Please determine which available date works best for you.
Saturday, May 20  Time: 9am – 12pm
Saturday, June 24  Time: 9am – 12pm
Saturday, July 15  Time: 9am – 12pm
Saturday, August 12  Time: 9am – 12pm

3 Hour Anger Management Completion Certificates accepted by the courts will be given if requested. Advance Registration only.

Location: 433 Maple Avenue, Westbury, New York 11590

Cost: $150 [Small groups, Limited seating ]

Register with Paypal eileen@balanceandpower.com  Credit Cards accepted via telephone.

  • Enhance all aspects of stress and anger management
  • Communicate more effectively
  • Be happier

Explore strategies to release anger, reduce stress and deal effectively with others. Anger and communication issues are highly affected by stress levels.

The best predictor of a positive outcome is your willingness to honestly examine and admit the consequences of your problem and actions and have the intention to change patterns. Your anger and stress impact your relationships, health, work life and financial situation.

Questions? Contact Eileen Now for a Complimentary Telephone Consult
516 623 4353  eileen@balanceandpower.com

10% discount for Veterans and their families

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Yes, research shows it’s possible! with actively choosing new ways to think, new ways to behave, and new environments that best suit your emotional style.   We can change how the brain responds to emotional stimuli with researched strategies that include:

    • Find out what your “hot buttons” are – what triggers your negative emotions.
    • Observe your emotions in the moment, without labeling good or bad.
    • Investigate emotions by asking yourself questions like, “Why do I feel this way?” or “What are my emotions trying to tell me?” Sometimes there is a logic and pattern of our emotions than we can learn from and improve.
    • Practice responding to emotions in new and constructive ways (for example, dancing, writing, or painting).

I work successfully with clients and groups to do this with Peak Performance Success and Life Coaching that may include stress and anger management, guided meditation and the modality EFT – Emotional Freedom Techniques, tapping – that speed up this process!

Need help and guidance? FREE PHONE CONSULT: 516 623 4353  www.balanceandpower.com 

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We all were braced for a few days in – and yay! enough to close everything for one day – and gave most of us I hope – time to catch up!-

I prepared materials for my Anger Management Group (2 seats available if you want to register now), was on a great networking call with Adrian’s Network and more…

What did you do?

Stay safe and warm all my NE US friends :)-

FREE phone consult 516 623 4353  www.balanceandpower.com 

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Anger Management Group
3 Hrs

(*Accepted by Courts)

Saturday, February 4  Time: 10am – 1pm
Saturday, March 18  Time: 9am – 12pm

3 Hour Anger Management Completion Certificates accepted by the courts will be given if requested. Advance Registration only.Anger M..png

Location: 433 Maple Avenue, Westbury, New York 11590

Cost: $150 [Small groups, Limited seating ]

  • Enhance all aspects of stress and anger management
  • Communicate more effectively
  • Be happier

Explore strategies to release anger, reduce stress and deal effectively with others. Anger and communication issues are highly affected by stress levels.

The best predictor of a positive outcome is your willingness to honestly examine and admit the consequences of your problem and actions and have the intention to change patterns. Your anger and stress impacts your relationships, health, work life and financial situation.

Register Now           

 Questions? 516-623-4353 EileenLichtenstein   CEO www.balanceandpower.com    Certified Anger Management Specialist, NAMA

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Mindfulness is defined as paying attention and being fully in the moment.  Multi-tasking cannot be included in this definition, as most people cannot fully focus on more than one thing at a time.  The influence of technology in our fast paced world has often caused the problem of lack of focus on a particular task.  This has translated into the modern workplace, especially those who are not used to the fastest paced technology. Those used to it, mostly millennials, often inadvertently miss important details. In our modern often chaotic world, frustration levels rise quickly, giving way to stress and anger.  Impatience and frustration often go hand-in-hand.  A workplace culture of mindfulness, geared to all generations and cultures can be beneficial to all.

Another tool that is helpful in focusing as well as to reduce stress and anger is EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques), also known as tapping.  It is recognized in the field of Energy Psychology and has become globally popular.  The physical tapping on meridian points releases cortisol, a stress hormone and sends serotonin – a feel good hormone – to the section of the brain dealing with emotions, the amygdala. Most of us are not born with the recommended amount of serotonin for optimal functioning and it may be found as an ingredient in some anti-depressants.

Here are a few additional tips to help focus in the workplace:

  • Stay on task by not reading emails throughout the day; have two specific times to check and designate some to be addressed at a future time
  • Keep cell phone sound off
  • Take frequent stretch breaks, being “mindful of physical toll of computer and phones.
  • Keep a “worry list” to address late afternoon each day for ten minutes.

FREE CONSULT: www.balanceandpower.com  516 623 4353

Download: FREE Stress Index: How Stressed Are You? Take The Test NOW (pdf)

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Eileen Live Interview and Q & A on Ask The Mediator

anger management Wantagh              Monday Nov. 21 8-9PM ET

Where: The Jeffery Bloom Show: Ask The Mediator Internet Radio & Streamcast. Listen or Livesteam.

Long Island’s #1 Internet Radio Station

Join Eileen Lichtenstein for a Live Interview and your Q & A on Ask The Mediator!

Call in and talk to Eileen!

*Studio Call In Line: (888) 538-9930 Ext.100

Watch or Listen Here: The Jeffery Bloom Show: Ask The Mediator Internet Radio & Streamcast. Listen or Livesteam.

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