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Archive for the ‘affirmative self talk’ Category

 

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It is best to address negative thoughts as they arise, rather than suppressing-repressing (or pushing them down) only to resurface later, often when we least expect it – sometimes in angry inappropriateness.

 On the other hand, if we allow ourselves to be fully human, honoring all the thoughts, feelings, and moods that pass through us on a given day, we create a more conscious relationship with ourselves. Instead of blocking out thoughts and feelings that we label as negative, we can simply observe them and then let them go. They only get stuck when we react to them negatively, pushing them down and out of sight where they get lodged in our unconscious minds.

TRY:

~Develop a practice of following any negative thought with a positive thought. This works well because positive thoughts are many times more powerful than negative thoughts!

~Develop a friendlier attitude toward yourself and trust your inherent goodness.

Need Help? http://www.balanceandpower.com   516 623 4353

 

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Balance & Power, Inc. Newsletter

Embrace Your Power!

Less Stress, Anger, Optimal Happiness & Productivity using EFT and Mindfulness. 

It’s important in this ever changing and fast paced world with extreme negative events taking place on a regular basis to implement strategies that consistently work (research based) keeping us personally centered and focused. We must be able to prioritize, be efficient, communicate well, be compassionate and empathetic to be our most productive, loving selves – no matter what circumstances outside of ourselves may be.

Less stress and anger, optimal productivity and happiness usually go together. Regular use of these two modalities will help to achieve these goals: EFT and Mindfulness. They may be applied wherever you are at home, work, on the street, at the airport.

Anger can be a powerful ally, since it is filled with energy that we can harness and use to create change in the world. It is one of the most cathartic emotions, and it can also be a very effective cleanser of the emotional system. However, when it becomes a habit, it actually loses its power to transform and becomes an obstacle to growth. Identifying the role anger plays in your life and restoring it to its proper function can bring new energy and expansiveness to your emotional life.

Sometimes when we feel anger, to ourselves or others, it is coming from a deep place that demands acknowledgment and expression. At these times, it is important that we find healthy ways to honor our anger, remembering how dangerous it is to repress it. However, anger can also become a habit, our go-to emotion whenever things go wrong. Often this is because, for whatever reason, we feel more comfortable expressing anger than we do other emotions, like sadness. It can also be that getting angry gives us the impression that we’ve done something about our problem. In these cases, our habitual anger is inhibiting both our ability to express our other emotions and to take action in our lives.

If it’s true that anger is functioning this way in your life, the first thing you might want to try is to notice when you get angry. You might begin to see a pattern of some kind. For example, you could notice that it is always your first response or that it comes up a lot in one particular situation. If the pattern doesn’t become clear right away, you could try keeping a journal or log about when you get angry and see if you can find any underlying meaning.

Download Anger Log
Want to know more about this and how to have optimal happiness and productivity?

FREE CONSULT: 
516.623.4353  one to one, group sessions in Uniondale, NY and Skype

Do you believe you are loveable? 

If you believe you are not loveable, I’m asking you to challenge that belief. Take a moment to identify at least three (or more) lovable traits that you possess, such as being generous, compassionate, friendly, kind, considerate, thoughtful, interesting, funny, etc. Write these down on post-its and place in conspicuous-to-you places.  You may also want to keep a  notepad with them handy.

Many attractive, successful single people have some very negative, limiting beliefs that sabotage finding a soul mate or being in a healthy relationship. The list usually goes something like this:

-I’m too old.
-I’m too fat.
-I’m too damaged.
-I have too much baggage.
-I am too successful.
-I am not successful enough.
-All the good ones are taken.
-Nobody I want, wants me.

There is plenty of evidence that love is available to everyone regardless of age, weight or income or any other feeble excuse. No matter what mistakes you have made in the past, you are still able to wake up every day and be able to start again.

Perhaps you need some help with this as well as being “accountable” to someone other than yourself.  Perhaps you want to add EFT tapping to your self-help “toolkit.

Empowerment Guide

Keep in mind the following strategies to help you stay well and happy:

    • Do things to bring you a sense of fulfillment, joy and purpose, that validate your worth. See your life as your own creation and strive to make it a positive one.
    • Pay close and loving attention to yourself, tuning in to your needs on all levels.
    • Take care of yourself: nourish, support and encourage yourself.
    • Release all negative emotions–resentment, envy, fear, sadness, anger. Express your feelings appropriately; don’t hold onto them.
    • Hold positive images and goals in your mind, pictures of what you really want in your life. When fearful images arise, re-focus on images that evoke feelings of peace and joy.
    • Love yourself and make loving the purpose and primary expression of your life.
    • Create fun, loving, honest relationships that allow for the expression and fulfillment of needs for intimacy and security. Try to heal any wounds in past relationships and with parents.
    • Make a positive contribution to your community, through some form of work or
service that you value and enjoy.
    • Make a commitment to health and well being, and develop a belief in the possibility of total health – physically and emotionally.
    • Accept yourself and everything in your life as an opportunity for growth and learning. Be open to possibilities. Be grateful.
    • When you make mistakes, even “bad” ones, forgive yourself, learn what you can from the experience and move on.
  • Keep a sense of humor.

Balance & Power has a new location!

Proud to announce a new office in Uniondale, NY!

RXR Plaza: 405 RXR Plaza, Uniondale, NY 11556

Driving routes: Meadowbrook Pkway 24 West
Franklin Ave to Hempstead Turnpike East

Public Transport: LIRR to Mineola Station
Bus to  405 RXR Plaza

Balance & Power Events:

Less Stress, Optimal Happiness & Productivity using EFT and Mindfulness with Eileen Lichtenstein, Peak Performance Success Life and Career Coach!

Empowering Women in Business
Connect. Collaborate. Contribute.

Gone are the days of going it alone! Come create referral and collaboration partnerships. Together let’s create a better world.

Business and Personal Development presentations with a facilitated interactive ThinkTank segment for inspiration, motivation and support. Come connect at a deeper level, make friends, find opportunities, share your experience and enjoy like minded people!

When: Wed. March 21, 2018 1:00pm to 2:30pm
Cost: $40.00

Location: One Park Avenue
(Btw 32nd and 33rd Streets), Meeting Room, NYC (Oasis Day Spa) [Gorgeous new location and enhanced format -Previously known as Emma Viglucci’s Successful Connections Networking Lunch]

Less Stress, Optimal Happiness & Productivity using EFT and Mindfulness

  • Release stress and resolve issues!
  • Build confidence!
  • Overcome fears!
  • Tap on your own challenges and the other participants’ for great results!
  • Reduce stress and transform procrastination into action!
  • More about EFT

More Info & Sign Up

7 Strategies for Less Stress & Greater Productivity with Eileen Lichtenstein, Peak Performance Success Life and Career Coach!

Business Women’s Networking Group: LIFTUP
WOMEN HELPING WOMEN through supportive networking, professional growth and other opportunities.

INSPIRING each other by working together, to improve and succeed in individual and professional growth. Our meetings include networking, working groups, presentations and shared efforts to improve ourselves professionally and personally.

Dinner, Networking & 7 Strategies for Less Stress & Greater Productivity Presentation
with Eileen Lichtenstein

When: Wed. May 9th, 6:30pm – 9:30pm

Location: Angelina’s Pizzeria & Restaurant
29 Hillside Avenue, Williston Park, NY 11596

Find out More about Stress Management

More Info & Sign Up

EFT Emotional Freedom Technique Intro Workshop
Hosted by Epione Clinic for Integrated Healing and Balance & Power, Inc.

Weekend training for EFT practitioners:
When: 3 hours Sat and Sun May 19-20th, 9:30am – 1:30pm

Interactive training to learn about EFT(Emotional Freedom Techniques, tapping), experience it and understand patient applications.

EFT, Emotional Freedom Technique, is often described as the tapping technique and is a powerful stress reduction tool that is proving to be extremely effective in a wide variety of conditions in which stress can be a causative or aggravating factor.

This interactive training for healthcare professionals will provide background and understanding of the modality, provide opportunities for personal application and to learn about patient applications. As you may know and most of the medical industry is now discovering, when we have physical problems they are almost always connected with our emotions. Emotional Freedom Technique comes to the rescue and is showing astounding results; in some cases after one or two sessions!

As a Certified level 2 EFT practitioner Eileen Lichtenstein uses amazing techniques in her Private Life Coaching Sessions as well as her Anger Management Seminars and Stress Management Seminars with overwhelming success!

Cost: Eileen Lichtenstein Workshop: $250 for 2 day workshop 5/19 and 5/20

Location: Epione Clinic for Integrated Healing 19 Zillicoa St. Suite 3 West Entrance, Asheville, North Carolina 28801 About Epione Integrated Clinic

Find out More About EFT | More Event Info | Join on facebook

Tickets

SOAR! with Resilience!

A 4 week Personal Coaching/Mentoring Program with Eileen Lichtenstein, Peak Performance Success Life and Career Coach!

This 4 week coaching/mentoring program will foster:

  • Increased confidence and self-esteem
  • Balance in your life and a healthy and well-adjusted mind and body
  • Success in your career and maximized potential

You will embark on a transformative journey of self-development that will guide you to amazing levels of happiness and abundance in your life.

  • Are you ready for your life to be transformed?
  • Are you ready to reduce stress to optimal levels?
  • Can you imagine being happy most of the time?
  • Are you ready to make some personal shifts and see your career SOAR?
  • How can you become and stay inspired?
  • Can you imagine being surrounded by positive people and creating optimal relationships?
  • Learn more about the program

Weekly individual coaching via telephone or video skype.

When: March 8 – April 6: Dates & time flexible, arranged individually
Cost: $436
SAVE: Sign up before March 7 and receive a special 10% discount: $393

When: April 24 – May 17: Dates & time flexible, arranged individually
Cost: $436
SAVE: Sign up before April 20 and receive a special 10% discount: $393

More Info & Register

New Course at MMU: How To SOAR Your Way To Entrepreneurial Success with Eileen Lichtenstein

Join Eileen’s New Course at Master Mind University!

“It is only through gratitude that life becomes rich.” -Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Learn how to become a better you and Call MMU:
(631)-494-4421 – Get Connected with Eileen Today!

Department of Education: Master Mind Coaching (MMCO)
Presentation Type: PowerPoint
Duration Time: 2 Weeks (One 60 Minute call Per Week)
Recorded: Yes
Information Delivery: Online Educational Video

Attendee: You are an entrepreneur who wants to learn how to manage and reduce your stress, anxiety and anger symptoms to improve the quality of your relationships and communication, understand communication styles and resolve conflicts effectively, increase self-esteem and self-confidence balance work and homelife and prioritize your thoughts in a positive way.
Location: New York

Eileen’s Instructor Certifications and Degrees: MS Education, Certified Anger Management Specialist and EFT Practitioner

More Info & Register

More from Balance & Power

Parenting Skills Program to Reverse High Stress Parenting

It’s easy for parents to feel overwhelmed, especially in today’s world. This program shares stress and anger management strategies and how to become proficient Active Listeners and Conflict Resolution Practitioners essential in our busy home lives today.

More About Eileen’s Parenting Skills Program

Parenting Skills Series: 4 Hr Group
4hr Feb/March Group: Tuesdays Feb 27 & March 6  Times: 6:30 – 8:30pm

Parenting Skills Series: 2 Hr Groups
Please determine which available group work best for you:

Wednesday April 25  Time: 6:30 – 8:30pm
Wednesday May 16  Time: 6:30 – 8:30pm

Cost: $260 per 4hr Group
Cost: $130 per 2hr Group
Register with Paypal. Credit Cards accepted via telephone.

Location: RXR Plaza: 405 RXR Plaza, Uniondale, NY 11556

    • This course is perfect for parents, teachers, social workers, nurses, doctors, daycare providers and anybody who interacts with children.
    • Skills to Communicate Effectively, End Conflict, and Manage Stress and Anger
  • Eileen Lichtenstein is committed to helping parents enjoy the benefits of positive results.

More Info and Registration Here

Anger Management Group
4 Hrs

(*Accepted by Courts)

4 Hour Anger Management Completion Certificatesaccepted by the courts will be given if requested. Advance Registration only.

More About Eileen’s Anger Management Groups

Anger Management: 4 Hr Groups
Please determine which available 4 hour consecutive grouping works best for you:

4hr Feb/March Group: Saturdays, Feb 24 & March 3  Time: 10am – Noon

4hr March Group: Saturdays, March 24 & Sat March 31 Time: 10am – Noon

4hr April/May Group: Saturdays, April 28 & Sat May 5 Time: 10am – Noon

Cost: $260 per 4hr Group [Small groups, Limited seating ]
Register with Paypal. Credit Cards accepted via telephone.

Location: RXR Plaza: 405 RXR Plaza, Uniondale, NY 11556

  • Enhance all aspects of stress and anger management
  • Communicate more effectively
  • Be happier

Explore strategies to release anger, reduce stress and deal effectively with others. Anger and communication issues are highly affected by stress levels. 

The best predictor of a positive outcome is your willingness to honestly examine and admit the consequences of your problem and actions and have the intention to change patterns. Your anger and stress impacts your relationships, health, work life and financial situation.

Register Now

Eileen is a regular contributor to these publications:

Real Talk Magazine


The Huffington Post


Being resilient in body, mind and spirit is key to being happy and successful in all areas of life.
The Balance & Power Blog

Keep SOARing!
Eileen Lichtenstein
CEO, Balance & Power, Inc
FREE 20 Minute Phone Consultation/”Strategy Session”
(516) 623-4353
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Do you believe you are loveable? If you believe you are not loveable, I’m asking you to challenge that belief. Take a moment to identify at least three (or more) lovable traits that you possess, such as being generous, compassionate, friendly, kind, considerate, thoughtful, interesting, funny, etc. Write these down on post-its and place in conspicuous-to-you places.  You may also want to keep a  notepad with them handy.
Many attractive, successful single people have some very negative, limiting beliefs that sabotage finding a soul mate or being in a healthy relationship. The list usually goes something like this:

-I’m too old.
-I’m too fat.
-I’m too damaged.
-I have too much baggage.
-I am too successful.
-I am not successful enough.
-All the good ones are taken.
-Nobody I want, wants me.

There is plenty of evidence that love is available to everyone regardless of age, weight or income or any other feeble excuse.
No matter what mistakes you have made in the past, you are still able to wake up every day and be able to start again.

Perhaps you need some help with this as well as being “accountable” to someone other than yourself.  Perhaps you want to add EFTtapping to your self-help “toolkit.

Call for a consult: 5216 623 4353  www.balanceandpower.com

Empowerment Guide
Keep in mind the following strategies to help you stay well and happy:

• Do things to bring you a sense of fulfillment, joy and purpose, that validate your
worth. See your life as your own creation and strive to make it a positive one.
• Pay close and loving attention to yourself, tuning in to your needs on all levels.
Take care of yourself: nourish, support and encourage yourself.
• Release all negative emotions–resentment, envy, fear, sadness, anger. Express
your feelings appropriately; don’t hold onto them.
• Hold positive images and goals in your mind, pictures of what you really want in
your life. When fearful images arise, re-focus on images that evoke feelings of
peace and joy.
• Love yourself and make loving the purpose and primary expression of your life.
• Create fun, loving, honest relationships that allow for the expression and
fulfillment of needs for intimacy and security. Try to heal any wounds in past
relationships and with parents.
• Make a positive contribution to your community, through some form of work or
service that you value and enjoy.
• Make a commitment to health and well being, and develop a belief in the
possibility of total health – physically and emotionally.
• Accept yourself and everything in your life as an opportunity for growth and
learning. Be open to possibilities. Be grateful.
• When you make mistakes, even “bad” ones, forgive yourself, learn what you can
from the experience and move on.
• Keep a sense of humor.

 

 

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Eileen Lichtenstein, MS. Ed.
EFT-ADV Certified Practitioner,
Anger Management Specialist-1 Cert
Balance & Power Expert
www.balanceandpower.com
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Balance & Power, Inc. Newsletter

A Formula for Success

I’ve been especially introspective and contemplative with my undertaking Jack Canfield’s fully revised and updated “The Success Principles” having coincided with Rosh Hashonah and Yom Kippur in the Jewish religion. The 10 days in between, named “Days of Awe” or the Days of Repentance. is a time for serious introspection, a time to consider the sins of the previous year, to forgive wrongs by others and repent before Yom Kippur.

Key to Jack C’s teaching is the formula E + R = O (Event + Response = Outcome”)

Key to making this formula work is taking responsibility for your everything without complaining, blaming or excuses. Well, with that said I’ve made a bunch of my own “resolutions” apologies and taken a few words and phrases out of my vocabulary (a work in progress…it takes at least 21 days to change a habit).

I’m also EFT tapping everyday for reinforcement and I’ve taken time to review my long and short-term goals. Having taken this on and reviewing personal development material with my commitment to take one hour daily for reading, listening, writing and the inherent happiness and beginnings with a new year (Rosh Hashonah), I am passing on the good feelings to you, my dear reader. It’s always good to review principles that resonate!

Read More at my Balance & Power Blog

Success Strategies and Keep SOARING!

  • Listen to and follow your Intuition.
  • Stay with your Integrity, no matter what!
  • Forgive yourself for mistakes – let go and move on
  • Live, love, laugh and stay healthy!
  • Work-life integration or balance?
  • Take time each day to relax, dream and visualize
  • Be an active listener.
  • Follow-up!
  • Believe in yourself and your goals: The power of affirmations and visualization

Ready to Keep Soaring? Then STOP WORRYING!

Did you know that 
40% of worrying is about things that will never happen
30% of worrying is over things that can’t be changed
10% of worrying is over health (which only gets worse when you worry)

We spend 92% of our time and energy worrying about things that:
1. We have no control over
2. We can’t possibly change
3. Have misperceived

Make a list of things you worry about. Divide your list into categories listed at the top of this outline.

How do you want to redirect your focus? VISUALIZE THIS!

What would happen if we channeled this energy and effort constructively rather than adding “fuel to the fire”? Worrying is like steeping on the gas pedal while the car is in neutral: we create a lot of noise, use energy and don’t go anywhere! EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques/ Meridian Tapping) works extraordinarily well to overcome anxiety, fear and worry. More About EFT

How the Duchess of Cornwall stops her fear of flying:

The Duchess of Cambridge herself has had to come to grips with her own fear of flying and her recent biography reveals that Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) has helped her to relax while on a flight. Read More

Balance & Power’s 5 Ingredients

A good affirmation has 5 ingredients: It’s personal, positive, present tense, visual and emotional. – Stephen R. Covey

Success:  
“We may be very busy, we may be very efficient, but we will also be truly effective only when we begin with the end in mind.” – Stephen Covey

Overcome Obstacles:
“Clear your mind of can’t.” – Samuel Johnson

Achieve Goals:
“We build too many walls and not enough bridges.” – Isaac Newton

Reduce Stress & Anger:
“For every minute you remain angry, you give up 60 seconds of peace of mind.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Stop Worrying! 40% worrying about things that never happen 30%  can’t be changed 8% legitimate – worry… 92% of time spent worrying is a waste of time and energy:
•    No control
•    Can’t change
•    Have mis-perceived

Read More

More from Balance & Power

Balance & Power Events:

Visit Eileen’s Table at The Youth Leadership Program: YOUTH MAX PLUS

YouthMAX Plus inspires and equips young people to value themselves and others, by developing and maintaining a positive self-image, showing compassion to others, persevering in the midst of adversity, and creating a daily routine of successful attitudes and behavior.

Visit Eileen’s table for free consults including focus on Parenting Skills.

It’s easy for parents to feel overwhelmed, especially in today’s world. This program shares stress and anger management strategies and how to become proficient Active Listeners and Conflict Resolution Practitioners essential in our busy home lives today. More about Eileen’s Parenting Skills Program:
Learn Strategies/Techniques to Reduce and Cope with Anger

When: Saturday, October 7, 2017 9am – 1pm
Location: Holiday in in Carle Place on Old Country Road.
Cost: $25.

More Info

Combined EFT and Guided Meditation Hour Group:Reduce Stress and Transform Procrastination into Action!

EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) and Guided Meditation with Eileen!

Reduce stress and transform procrastination into action: with EFT and Guided Meditation.

  • Release stress and resolve issues!
  • Build confidence!
  • Overcome fears!
  • Tap on your own challenges and the other participants’ for great results!
  • Reduce stress and transform procrastination into action!

When: Tues, October 17  Time: 7:00pm – 8:00pm
Cost: $35
Location: Turn of the Corkscrew
110 N. Park Avenue Rockville Centre, NY (516) 764-6000
www.turnofthecorkscrew.com

Find out More about EFT

Questions? 
Contact Eileen Now for a Complimentary Telephone Consult
Ph: 516 623 4353 Email: eileen@balanceandpower.com

10% discount for Veterans and their families

Register Now

Bullying Awareness Seminar with Speaker Eileen Lichtenstein

NAPW Bayside Chapter Networking BreakfastMeeting: Bullying Awareness (More Info)

Speaker: Eileen Lichtenstein, MS.Ed, CEO, Balance & Power Inc.

NAPW: Keep your power network strong! Connect to an exclusive online community of dynamic, intelligent, accomplished women from varying backgrounds and fields to enhance your business and career success.

Bullying and cyber-bullying can leave anyone feeling hurt, angry, depressed or overwhelmed. Bullying is an aggressive behavior that can be physical, verbal, or relational. Learn about why some (kids and adults) bully and why others are bullied, and how to develop the resilience and self-confidence to succeed in life.
More about Bullying Awareness

When: Saturday, October 21, 2017 10:15am TO 11:55am
Location: Bayside Diner, 207-07 Northern Blvd., Bayside, NY 11361
Cost: RSVP from NAPW members. Non-members welcome.

More NAPW Info

PLEASE RSVP VIA E-MAIL
Celestina A. Akbar, MPA, President of Bayside Chapter.
Celestinaakbar@gmail.com Find out More about EFT

Questions? 
Contact Eileen Now for a Complimentary Telephone Consult
Ph: 516 623 4353 Email: eileen@balanceandpower.com

10% discount for Veterans and their families

Register Now

More from Balance & Power

Parenting Skills Program to Reverse High Stress Parenting (Parents of 4-8 year olds)

It’s easy for parents to feel overwhelmed, especially in today’s world. This program shares stress and anger management strategies and how to become proficient Active Listeners and Conflict Resolution Practitioners essential in our busy home lives today. More About Eileen’s Parenting Skills Program

INTRODUCTORY GROUP: Wednesday, Oct 11th 7 – 8:30pm
Cost: $65 Advance Registration Only: Closes 10/10

3 Week Parenting Skills Series Forming for November:
Wednesdays, November 14, 21, 28 Time: 7pm – 8pm

Cost: $150 series, $65 for individual sessions.

Location: 433 Maple Avenue, Westbury, New York 11590
Westbury office near parkways and 5 minute walk to LIRR.

    • This course is perfect for parents, teachers, social workers, nurses, doctors, daycare providers and anybody who interacts with children.
    • Skills to Communicate Effectively, End Conflict, and Manage Stress and Anger
  • Eileen Lichtenstein is committed to helping parents enjoy the benefits of positive results.

More Info and Registration Here

Anger Management Group
3 Hrs

(*Accepted by Courts)

Saturday, Oct 14  Time: 9am – 12pm
Saturday, Nov 18  Time: 10am – 1pm

3 Hour Anger Management Completion Certificates accepted by the courts will be given if requested. Advance Registration only.

Location: 433 Maple Avenue, Westbury, New York 11590

Cost: $150 [Small groups, Limited seating ]

  • Enhance all aspects of stress and anger management
  • Communicate more effectively
  • Be happier

Explore strategies to release anger, reduce stress and deal effectively with others. Anger and communication issues are highly affected by stress levels. 

The best predictor of a positive outcome is your willingness to honestly examine and admit the consequences of your problem and actions and have the intention to change patterns. Your anger and stress impacts your relationships, health, work life and financial situation.

Register Now

Eileen is a regular contributor to these publications:

Real Talk Magazine


The Huffington Post


Being resilient in body, mind and spirit is key to being happy and successful in all areas of life.
The Balance & Power Blog

Keep SOARing!

Eileen Lichtenstein
CEO, Balance & Power, Inc

FREE 20 Minute Phone Consultation/”Strategy Session”
(516) 623-4353
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Twitter
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Website
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Balance & Power Events in Your Area!
EFT | Anger Management | Stress Management | Workshops
www.balanceandpower.com
Eileen’s Balance & Power Blog
Copyright © 2017 Balance & Power, Inc., All rights reserved.
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Be an active listener – while being patient (waiting with a positive attitude) and when what is said by the other has offended you, if you feel is an untruth and/or feel bullied, do not react. If possible, respond calmly without blaming, or walk away.  Easier said than done; especially for highly sensitive people (often an extremely positive quality).  If you need help with effective communication and managing emotions, call me for a free consult: 516 623 4353  www.balanceandpower.com 
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Productive, successful and happy people constantly set goals and work to make them happen. This gives us focus and ensures that we use our time and energy efficiently and effectively. It also provides us with a sense of purpose and direction. We know where we are going and what we want to do. Quite often, however, due to forces outside our control, things do not go as we had planned.  Life and career often calls us to be flexible – even at short notice, to reconsider our plans and priorities, sometimes in the blink of an eye.
The ability to accept what is happening and let go of original expectations is key when dealing with these unexpected turns of fate. We often have the tendency to get stuck in our heads, clinging to an idea of how we think things or relationships should go, and we can have a hard time accepting anything that doesn’t comply with that idea. The fact is that life and business is often unpredictable.Below you’ll find 8 things to do when life  – or business – throws you a curveball:

1.Don’t Overgeneralize. Just because something unexpected has temporarily knocked the wind out of you it doesn’t mean that you’ll never achieve the things that you want, or that you’re doomed to fail and struggle for the rest of your days.

2. Find Perspective. You can’t see the future. Would your life have been perfect or even better if you had gotten the contract?  Not lost the partner?  Maybe; but maybe not. What looks like a huge loss at the present could be a blessing in disguise. You don’t know yet.

3. Practice Acceptance. In his book “The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success”  Deepak Chopra explains “The Law of Least Effort”, which is basically the principle of no resistance. One component of this principle is acceptance. You can wish for things to be different in the future, but at this moment in time you have to accept things as they are.

4. Decrease Your Ego’s Involvement.  Even if you feel that you’ve been wronged, you need to stop thinking along the following lines:

§  How dare they do this to me?

§  Don’t they know who I am?

§  They’ll be sorry they did this.

This kind of thinking consumes an enormous amount of energy and doesn’t help you in any way. In “The Art of Dreaming” Don Juan tells Carlos Castaneda the following:

“Most of our energy goes into upholding our importance . . . If we were capable of losing some of that importance, two extraordinary things would happen to us. One, we would free our energy from trying to maintain the illusory idea of our grandeur; and two, we would provide ourselves with enough energy to . . . catch a glimpse of the actual grandeur of the universe.”

By refusing to identify with your ego and things personally, you will be able to stop linking your sense of self to what happened.  Don Miguel Ruiz, author of “The Four Agreements” is also a firm believer in  “Don’t Take Anything Personally” – The Second Agreement.  This will free up energy that you can then use to create better circumstances for yourself.

5. Meditate. When you’re stressed, fearful, angry, or anxious—which are feelings that often accompany an event that has a negative impact on your life–, your brain’s rhythm increases and brain activity rises. The more stressed you become, the more rapidly your brain waves vibrate. Meditating slows down your brain’s rhythm, which is conducive to a relaxed state of mind which allows you to generate alternatives, see opportunities, and come up with creative solutions. That is, meditating will help put you in a more resourceful state of mind.

6. Shift Your Focus To the Positive. Instead of dwelling on your loss, shift your focus to the good things that are still in your life.  If you have your health and a good head on your shoulders you have a lot to be grateful for. Focus on that.

7. Focus on the Future. The curveball you were thrown probably set your goals off track.  It makes sense to set new career goals for yourself and start moving toward the new destination that you’ve set for yourself.

8. Focus on What You Can Control. One of the reasons why being thrown a curveball is so incredibly painful is because it makes you feel like you have no control over what happens to you. After all, you did everything right. But the “right” results didn’t materialize, in spite of your efforts and there’s little that you can do about it. Therefore, turn your focus to things you can control and possibly new skills or contacts that will help in reaching your new goals. Whenever you feel helpless or victimized because of something that has happened to you, turn your attention to the things that you can change, or the things that you can do. By doing what you can, with what you have, where you are, you’ll gradually begin to feel like you’re back in control of your life.

Being open with goals and yet unattached to outcome can be difficult to achieve.  I have found this to take much practice –and have always been better at it- and anything, while being centered and grounded.  Next time a curveball comes my way, I will take a deep breath and open my mind to a new opportunity! My hope dear reader, is that you will as well!  I help many to get past curved balls and move on.

FREE PHONE CONSULT   516 623 4353        www.balanceandpower.com ebook-cover-stress-web: 516

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Affirmations have been shown to improve education, health and relationship outcomes, with benefits that sometimes persist for months and years. Here are some I’ve created; what are yours?

Empowering Affirmations

I am passionate about my goals.

My passion drives me forward to live the life of my dreams.

I know what I want in life and I set goals to get me there. I know that each goal I achieve brings me in union with what I desire.

Meeting a goal, no matter how big or small, strengthens my confidence and self-esteem.

Setting and achieving goals is a never-ending circle of positivity that fuels my passion even more.

My passion enables my success. I use tools to ignite and refuel my passion on a daily basis, even when I face challenges that try to smother it.

My tools include affirmations to transform negative thoughts into positive ones, meditation to relax and rejuvenate my energy, and notes and pictures to inspire and remind me of my goals.

Today, I choose to feel inspired by my passions and let the excitement propel me forward to achieve my goals, regardless of any challenges that may arise

People notice their anger levels lowering when feelings of empowerment and self esteem rise.   It feels great knowing you are “in charge” of your response; the opposite of feeling “overwhelmed” or highly stressed, which contributes to high levels of frustration and can easily lead to anger. Anger is a natural human emotion – we all get angry- and that’s okay- it’s about coping with it before it becomes inappropriate. Learning to how to be more flexible in how we deal with the frustrations and stresses of our lives has many advantages. Stress and anger are not good to our immune system and can cause conditions and disease. Effective relationships are based on good communication without inappropriate anger coming through; a feeling of empowerment from the communicator is necessary for that to occur.

We’ve all heard people say “My friends tell me I am just too hard on myself”, ”I’m such a loser”, or “I’m so stupid to make these mistakes.” This negative self-talk can and needs to be turned around to eradicate feelings of shame, which may stem from childhood- perhaps a parent, teacher or peers saying these negative statements. An important tool in dealing with angry feelings and growing feelings of empowerment is that of eliminating that negative conversation with yourself. An alternate response when someone “puts you down” is not to take it personally – difficult to do and very attainable. It takes conscious effort and practice. Don Miguel Ruiz discusses this strategy in his self-help book “The Four Agreements”.
Holding a grudge, against another or yourself, is letting the offender (or your “dark side”) live rent free in your head. Making the decision to “let go” (while still creating a protective shield/filter for ourselves) is often a process of forgiveness—or at least acceptance—and is a major step toward anger control, increased self-esteem and empowerment.

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