John Gottman at the University of Washington has gathered a persuasive body of evidence that meta-emotions are the most important variable in terms of predicting whether or not a marriage will last. Do you believe you should express anger? Or do you believe in holding it in and waiting for it to fizzle out? Do you think happiness should be shared but anger should be suppressed? Sharing your meta-emotional style gives you a common emotional template, a common language.
What does this mean???
Dealing with feelings – anger, sadness, happiness – in similar ways!
Not easy – and the same literature severely puts down online dating as similar interests may be fun – but not necessarily long lasting.
So – if you’re stuck in a relationship or marriage that is no longer working – perhaps it’s time to change things and understand from your partner’s perspective, and perhaps change your m.o. – or not. If you want to give this a go -and/or release anger and learn how to better deal with that –
call me for a free consult: 516 623 4353 www.balanceandpower.com
Eileen Lichtenstein’s Balance and Power Blog 