While it is important that we think before speaking, it’s important not to try to please everyone, which may cause us to hide or otherwise distort those ideas that will likely prove valuable. We may feel uncomfortable speaking our minds in this way because we believe that our quick-to-appear initial thoughts are yet unformed and can only be improved by careful consideration. In discounting them, however, we do ourselves a disservice.
Give yourself the freedom – permission to speak your mind (within assertive guidelines) without being a people pleaser! Trusting initial thoughts and speaking your truth without too much refinement or rearranged words is often the best choice.
There may be a fine line between thinking before speaking and being overly self-critical in analyzing thoughts into words. Give yourself credit for good communicative skills and intelligence! Always keep “in mind” and “be aware” of the general distinctions among assertive, passive and aggressive communication-behavior styles for your best communication!
Assertive
- Honest
- Expressive
- Use of “I” statements
- Confrontation is OK
- Compromise
Passive
- Avoids conflict
- Laid back
- Taken advantage of
- Indecisive
- People Pleaser
Aggressive
- Dominate
- Manipulate
- Goes beyond personal boundaries
- Takes a stand at the expense of others
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Eileen Lichtenstein’s Balance and Power Blog 