Posted in life coach, relationship coaching, relationships, resilience, SOAR!, SOAR!with Resilience, tagged acronym, love, relationship, resilience, sanity on January 23, 2013 | Leave a Comment »
Relationship acronym, told to me by a business networker at an event.
Unfortunately, it is often true:
REALLY
EMOTIONAL
LOVE
AFFAIR
TURNS
INTO
ONGOING
NIGHTMARE
SANITY
HANGS
IN
PERIL
When you need help figuring out right choices, know that I help people
SOAR! with Resilience® and offer a Free 15 minute complimentary consult via phone or skype. 516 623 4353 BalanceandPower
Posted in anger, anger coach, anger management specialist, collaboration, communication, divorce, relationship coaching, relationships, Uncategorized, tagged anger management, communication, divorce, divorce attorney, relationships on January 19, 2013 | Leave a Comment »
http://www.meetup.com/divorcesupport-56/
Live Event: OPEN FORUM with Anger Management Specialist Eileen Lichtenstein and Divorce Attorney Jacqueline Harounian
When: Wed Jan 30, 2013
Time: 6:00 to 8:00pm
Cost: Free
A workshop-style evening to help you with the divorce process (pre, during or post-divorce). Matrimonial attorney Jacqueline Harounian and Certified Anger Management Specialist Eileen Lichtenstein will be on hand to educate, answer questions on divorce and related topics.
This workshop is to help educate you about handling anger during divorce.
The process of divorce can be fertile ground for anger. Behavior and communication approaches have often been attempted unsuccessfully. Learn how to:
Eileen will help you become empowered to utilize communications styles in order to better deal with others different from your own. Learn how to manage and reduce your stress and anxiety symptoms, which can lead to anger.
Jackie will provide info and answer questions on the divorce process – pre separation through post divorce. Information is power and knowing the process and understanding the legalities better will help to make it less stressful.
There will also be a financial adviser on hand for any financial-oriented issues.
This is a comfortable environment to get some legal information and also get some helpful hints on how to manage your moods and your anger better. Everyone is completely welcome to attend.
This free event is meant to provide information, answer questions and create a forum for discussion. Attorney Jackie Harounian from Wisselman, Harounian & Associates has spoken several times to this group. Meetings were lively and interesting and everyone came away satisfied with new knowledge.
When: Wed Jan 30, 2013
Time: 6:00 to 8:00pm
Cost: Free
Location: Merrill Lynch 717 5th Avenue, 7th FL (entrance is on 56th Street between 5th and Madison Avenue)
Official business: For security reasons after 5:00pm, all guests must sign in with first and last name in the building lobby and we must provide a matching guest list to Merrill Lynch the day before the meeting. Please respond no more than two days before the meeting with your full name or send a private email to sharyn@lawjaw.com and give your first and last name in the email.
Don’t stress if you are running a few minutes late – we know it is hard to get out of work on time sometimes. We will provide some food so don’t worry about grabbing something to eat before you come.
Questions About This Meetup?
Please call Sharyn Omara 516-773-8300, email sharyn@lawjaw.com
Wisselman, Harounian & Associates, P.C. Website: www.lawjaw.com
Hope to see you for this special evening if you are in this population 
Posted in anger, Europe, forgiveness, happiness, health, love, positive attitude, positive energy, relationships, self- care, self-help, stress release, visualization, tagged anger release, commitment, fear, happiness, health, love, positive visualizations, relationships, self-care, wellness on January 12, 2013 | 4 Comments »
please scroll down
- Amsterdam 2012 -
Happiness is subjective, perception rules. Yet there are some simple keys to wellness and happiness, which go hand in hand. The thing about happiness is that the premise often flows and changes, depending on people and circumstances in our lives. It’s important through all the changes to be aware of your core values and be in alignment with them.
These simple truths are not always evident and hold the keys to wellness and happiness:
Posted in anger, anger coach, anger management specialist, Certified Anger Management Specialist, communication, conflict coaching, conflict resolution, empowerment, relationship coaching, relationships, self-help, spiritual and emotional health, stress management tips, Uncategorized, tagged acceptance, anger management, anger triggers, asserive communication, communication, empathy, empowerment, expectationsanger prevention, forgiveness, resolving conflicts, shame, stressors on January 6, 2013 | 5 Comments »
Knowing, understanding and being able to apply strategies to help manage and prevent destructive anger is necessary in today’s world which can be extremely stress inducing. Anger is a completely natural response to the frustrations of life, with many of these frustrations being out of our control. (The definition of “stressed” is feeling out of control and overwhelmed.) Sometimes when we feel anger, it is coming from a deep place that demands acknowledgement and expression. At these times, it is important that we find healthy ways to honor our anger, knowing how dangerous it can be to repress it. Depression, the other end of the expressive spectrum is (usually) repressed-internalized anger. However, anger can become a habit- our go- to emotion when things or people become difficult. Here are some strategies to help manage and prevent anger.
Recognize, Release & Manage Stress
Internal or external stressors often takes us from feeling peaceful to experiencing uncomfortable angry feelings in many common life situations. Before your stress response turns into anger or aggression, use stress management strategies to help with anger management strategies. The higher one’s stress level, the easier it is to allow our anger to get out of control. Learning stress management techniques gives us an effective way to reduce the physical, behavioral, and emotional problems caused by too much stress.
Develop Empathy
Our ability to know how we are feeling as well as our ability to accurately sense the feelings of those around us help us make positive connections with others. This characteristic is often called “empathy.”
To empathize is to see with the eyes of another, to hear with the ears of another, and to feel with the heart of another. Lack of empathy leads to poor communication and a failing to understand others. To manage anger, it often helps to see our anger as a combination of other people’s behavior and our lack of empathy toward them or their situation. Examples are a lack of awareness in public, often a sign of not being emotionally or socially alert. Or perhaps a situation in which you tried to express your feelings backfired in some way…
Respond Instead of React
Many times we become angry because we find people and situations that literally “push our buttons”, and we react automatically. Rather than reacting to anger triggers in this fashion, you can learn to choose how to deal with frustrating situations—to respond rather than automatically react. Patterns can be changed!
Change That Conversation With Yourself
Learning to change negative “self-talk” empowers you to deal with anger more effectively in terms of how strongly you feel the anger, how long you hold onto your anger, and how you express your anger.
Communicate Assertively
. Assertive communication is a set of skills to honestly and effectively communicate how you feel and how you are responding to things without getting angry or hostile about it. Good communication skills are an essential ingredient to anger management because poor communication causes untold emotional hurt, misunderstandings, and conflict. Words are powerful, but the message we convey to others is even more powerful and often determines how people respond to us and how we feel toward them.
Examine Expectations
Anger and stress can often be caused when our expectations are too far apart from what is realistic to achieve. In other words, anger is often triggered by a discrepancy between what we expect and what we get.
Learning to adjust those expectations—sometimes upward and other times downward—can help us cope with difficult situations or people, or even cope with ourselves.
Acceptance & Forgiveness: Let it go…
Anger is often the result of grievances we hold toward other people or situations, usually because of our perception and feeling of having been wronged by them in some way. Resentment is a form of anger that does more damage to the holder than the offender
Leave, Think & Return!
We are pretty much incapable of resolving conflicts or thinking rationally when our stress level reaches a certain point. It is often best to take a temporary “time-out”— leave to avoid losing control either physically or verbally. This strategy of anger management works much better if (a) you commit to return within a reasonable amount of time to work things out, and (b) you work on your” positive self-talk” while trying to cool down.
Related Posts:
Blame & Anger Never Work
Posted in communication, positive energy, positive thinking, relationships, Uncategorized, tagged communication, positive, successful relationships on October 28, 2012 | 2 Comments »
Emphasizing the positive traits in ourselves and others encourages the continuing development of our skills, abilities, and attributes and a successful relationship! Positive reinforcement is usually much more effective and inspiring than trying to force improvements by dwelling on the negative, which do not work anyway. By consciously emphasizing the positive traits and abilities that exist in all of us, we call forth a deeper belief in our potential and inspire both ourselves and others to rise above a personal best. With praise and encouragement comes the confidence to reach for greater goals and consistently strive to excel in everything we do. By focusing on the positive aspects of yourself and others today, you can encourage greater growth and success for all of you, including relationship aspects.
A current trend in my coaching practice are married, divorced or recently separated men having been unsuccessful in sustaining a relationship, due to anger and communication issues. Again and again I have seen the transformation into respectful and positive thinking individuals! which is partially due to learning to communicate in a positive and respective way while eliminating angry verbal and text responses.
If you or someone you love needs help with this, you may contact me for a free 15 minute consult via telephone: 516 623 4353
Posted in communication, frustration, long island, relationship coaching, relationships, tagged communication, Hope Springs, marriage communication, Meryl Strrp, relationship coaching, relationships on August 18, 2012 | Leave a Comment »
“Hope Springs” is an important relationship movie, not a “chick flick”. That’s this gal’s opinion… The actors take their time through the first half and we get it- the marriage isn’t working and hasn’t worked in many years. Meryl Streep’s role is very different from any I’ve seen her in previously and she does this part justice. I don’t want to give away the movie; I simply am stating that I agree, effective communication is the integral piece of any working relationship. If yours isn’t going well, then examine the communication (or lack of) and see if it’s about saying what you mean, expressing feelings, or simply relating well (empathetically, sympathetically) to your other. It may be about stepping outside your “comfort zone” to accomplish this. It may be about doing things differently or breaking habits. It’s always helpful to learn about other styles of communication and behavior so you will be able to relate better to each one. A long term relationship takes a lot of work, believe me, I know! I share a lot about this in my book, SOAR! with Resilience™ , as well as effective communication strategies. I facilitate on site trainings; a popular title is “Eliminate the Frustration From Your Conversation”. I also coach individuals and couples in Wantagh, Long Island and via Skype.
Posted in coaching, communication, confidence, Emotional Freedom Techniques, emowerment, entrepreneurs, entrpreneurs, guided imagery, happy, holiday gifts, life coach, mind-body, peak performance coach, personal coaching, positive psychology, positive thinking, relationships, stress, stress management tips, stress release, stress resilience, success, tapping, time management, wokr/life balance, work-life balance, workshops and trainings, tagged cognitive distortions, communication style, conflict cycle, Dr. Jon Kabat-Zinn, e-course, emotional freedom techniques, entrepreneur, happiness, health, higher income potential, mind-body connection, overcome obstacles, peak performance success coaching, potential, productivity, relationship building, stress, The Relaxation Response, well being on December 21, 2011 | Leave a Comment »
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Posted in anxiety, communication, confidence, goal setting, guided imagery, life coach, long island, positive energy, positive psychology, positive thinking, productivity, relationships, relaxation breathing, resilience, self esteem, self- care, self-help, seminar, strategy, stress, stress management tips, stress resilience, success, transformative, work-life balance, workshops and trainings, worry, tagged anger management, anxiety, coaching, EFT, goal setting, happiness, life coaching, long island, mind-body, New York, success, workshops on August 15, 2011 | 1 Comment »
Perk-u-lators Event:
How to Thrive Amidst Chaos
“Reduce Stress, Create Dreams And Heal Your Life Both Physically And Emotionally”
“LET THE PERK-U-LATORS PERK U UP!”
When: Sunday September 18, 2011
Time: 9:30 AM – 6:00 PM
Location: Holiday Inn Westbury
369 Old Country Road Carle Place, NY 11514
Lower Level Holiday Inn 516 997 5000
Cost: $100.00
Event Registration closes 8/22
Do you find yourself repeating patterns that are not working?
Do you find yourself going over and over in your mind how you should have handled a situation differently?
Are you losing control in your life, In your business and/or in your relationships?
Are You One of These People?
If you answered yes to any of the above, then You must attend this workshop!!!!
Learn hands-on techniques to:
We provide ALL the tools you need to Reduce Stress, Create Dreams and Heal your Life both Physically and Emotionally
The Perk-u-lators are:
Eileen Lichtenstein, MS Ed is a Peak Performance Success Coach with over 25 years in the stress management and coaching field, a Certified Anger Management Specialist, EFT Practitioner and author “SOAR! with Resilience”™
www.balanceandpower.com
Rev. Diana Moore A/K/A Light Teacher™ is a certified hypnotist, with over 25 years experience as a life coach. She is author of “The Self-Empowerment System” (as seen on TV) and originator of the Light Work System.
www.Lightteacher.com
Rev. Wilma Zaltman MS Ed is a Transformation Leader, Visionary and Health Intuitive, with over 35years experience in the field of stress management.
www.reverendwilma.com www.morpho-transcendence.com
CALL NOW to RESERVE YOUR SPACE! Eileen: 516.623.4353
Event Registration closes 8/22
Paypal below or or mail check to:
Eileen Lichtenstein, Balance & Power, Inc.
PO Box 894
Baldwin, NY 11510
| Cost: $100 | 
|
Posted in anger, anger coach, anger management and conflict resolution training, attitude, Certified Anger Management Specialist, communication, confidence, EFT, long island, relationships, self esteem, self-help, stress, stress release, tagged anger management, coaching, EFT, long island, New York, stress, tapping, workshops on June 3, 2011 | Leave a Comment »
We each have a pattern of anger. Some of us express it when it is still small. Some push it down so deep, too scared to express it, and experience it as disease. And some bottle it up until it bursts like a volcano surprising everyone with the intensity. These individuals sometimes do not even have a clue that anything was wrong.
I’m going to focus on the last pattern, as this is what has happened with many of my clients, or with their partners or ex’es. The latter played the victim and need help with self-esteem issues. As children, some of the angry adults had been labeled as having “a bad temper”. Let’s take a look at how this pattern of anger develops.
Sometimes the anger has been brewing throughout the day from one incident early in the day which is annoying. Another a little later on that added fuel to the fire. So when receiving one more perceived assault, even an actually minor one, anger powerfully unloads, usually misdirected. Or, perhaps, one individual is progressively “getting to” the other in a negative way by “nagging”, being judgemental, overprotective, jealous, to name a few. That keeps happening until a “last straw” is reached.
When the anger outburst prone individual takes a “time-out” to apply EFT at the first perceived slight, the first inkling of annoyance or frustration and is able to get deep into and under the anger then the anger outburst prone individual may be able to voice concerns with out the associated outburst.
Here is an EFT script that I hope will help you or a loved one as it has helped my clients change an anger pattern. First you need to start with how you feel in yourself about the anger. Start and continue tapping on the EFT tapping points while saying the phrases:
| Karate Chop: | I was so angry that I can’t accept myself. I’m disappointed in myself. I should be better than this. They didn’t deserve to be the brunt of my anger. I feel so ugly and ashamed at what I did. I don’t know if I will ever be able to change this. I feel like I have no control over my anger. I don’t know if I can ever accept myself when I can get so angry. |
| Head: | This anger feels more powerful than me |
| Eyebrows: | I don’t feel like I can control it |
| Side of Eyes: | Part of me likes the feeling of power that comes with the anger |
| Under Eyes: | Part of me is so ashamed |
| Under Nose: | I can’t really accept myself when I can get this angry |
| Chin Point: | I remember the look on their faces when I was angry |
| Collarbones: | The fear in their faces, I don’t want them to be afraid of me |
| Under Arms: | I’m so afraid that the damage done can’t be undone. I don’t know if I deserve to be free of this guilt |
| Wrist Points: | I don’t believe anyone can really love me when I have this anger within me; I can’t really love myself when I know it’s there. |
Continue to tap for a few rounds to cover everything you feel and say about and to yourself about how you behaved.
Now we will use EFT to work on the pattern around the anger.
| Karate Chop: | Even though it feels like I have no control over my anger, I choose to notice the way it develops. I have a pattern of anger than can be changed. Even though I have a habit of being angry, I choose to bring to my conscious mind the way my anger develops, so that I can heal it. |
| Head: | What is the first thing that happens in my body when I’m starting to feel angry? |
| Eyebrows: | What do I say to myself that tells me I’m getting angry? |
| Side of Eyes: | Where in my body do I notice the fire of my anger building? |
| Under Eyes: | There are a number of steps to my anger and I choose to pay attention and notice them |
| Under Nose: | What is the very first thing that happens that tells me I’m getting angry |
| Chin Point: | I give my self permission to stop a conversation when I notice the first indicators of anger so that I can do some EFT and deal with the feeling |
| Collarbones: | As I notice my anger pattern, I gain power over it |
| Under Arms: | There are a number of things that occur before my anger bursts out, and I choose to notice each of them |
| Wrist Points: | This pattern has been unconscious until now but I’m making it conscious so that I can change it. |
Notice how your anger builds helps to unravel the mystery of full blown explosions that nobody sees coming. You then have the ability to notice what is triggering your anger and clear those individual triggers. Maybe it’s a tone of voice or a look you receive which starts to get you angry. So do some tapping on the trigger e.g.
| Karate Chop: | I felt put down by their sarcastic tone of voice. I felt put down and disrespected by their tone of voice. It reminds me of being talked down to as a child. I don’t want to be talked to like that because I’m now an adult |
| Head: | Feeling talked down to like a child |
| Eyebrows: | Feeling disrespected |
| Side of Eyes: | That tone of voice that gets me angry |
| Under Eyes: | I want to release all reference events for this trigger |
| Under Nose: | I’m clearing this trigger for my anger |
| Chin Point: | That tone of voice that still gets me angry |
| Collarbones: | I won’t let anyone talk to me that way |
| Under Arms: | I want to stand up for myself without having to get angry. I am an adult who can express myself |
| Wrist Points: | As I clear this trigger, I beginning to accept myself even more. |
There may be more than one trigger to your anger so continue to tap on each trigger that contributes to your anger pattern.
You may still have shame, guilt, and regret about what happened so here is a final round to do some more clearing.
| Karate Chop: | Even though I’m still ashamed at getting so angry, I’m beginning to accept myself. Even though I regret what I did and wish that I could go back and change things, I’m open to accepting myself and the mistakes I made as part of being human. I’m doing my best to improve my behavior, identifying patterns of anger, and clearing the triggers. |
| Head: | Remaining shame for what happened |
| Eyebrows: | Remaining regret for how I said what I did |
| Side of Eyes: | Remaining sadness at the hurt I caused |
| Under Eyes: | Remaining shame, regret, and sadness |
| Under Nose: | I choose to notice my anger patterns and diffuse them as soon as I do |
| Chin Point: | I choose to be forgiving of myself as I do my best to change my behavior |
| Collarbones: | I’m glad I know how to tap so that I can clear my anger patterns |
| Under Arms: | I’m learning to access the power within my anger and express it in constructive ways |
| Wrist Points: | I’m noticing and celebrating even the smallest of improvements in my behavior and I’m becoming even more loving and accepting of myself. |
This tapping session is an in depth exploration and release of negative feelings that are often surrounding angry outbursts. You may need further guidance; this may have only opened a door and there is still lots more to acknowledge and release, which is what EFT is about. Contact me about a complimentary consult for sessions via video skype, telephone, or face to face in Long Island or Queens, NY. I incorporate EFT into my Anger-Stress Management Groupsat several locations in Long Island and Queens.
Posted in EFT, perseverance, personal coaching, relationships, Uncategorized, Zen, tagged coaching, EFT, focus, goal setting, letting go, release, success, tapping, Zen on May 3, 2010 | Leave a Comment »
